Don't Let Go
by a.k.a.-ashley
Summary: COMPLETE. Lucas and Peyton move back to Tree Hill as they prepare for the birth of their first child. Sequel to The Man Who Was His Father. A little Naley included.
1. The Nightmare

**Don't Let Go**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of these characters.

**Author's Note**: It's finally here, the long-awaited first chapter of the sequel to The Man Who Was His Father. Thank you guys so much for all your patience and support, I hope you all like it. And I noticed while I was going through TMWWHF that my timeline got mixed up, so let me just clear all that up. The story takes place ten years after their senior year in high school, Peyton and Lucas married at 22 they are now both 28.

**Chapter 1**

Peyton's toe slammed into the corner of the brown moving box for what seemed like the hundredth time that week. "Damn it Lucas!" She howled in pain. The cluttered mess in their new home was beginning to grate on her last nerve. They had moved into their cozy little one-story house, located a few blocks away from Nathan and Haley, over two weeks ago but three quarters of the boxes remained unpacked.

"What? What's the matter?" Lucas came rushing into the room. The larger Peyton's belly grew the more worrisome Lucas had become.

"I swear to God Lucas, if we don't get these boxes unpacked really soon I am going to freak out." She walked over to the couch and sat down in a huff.

"So you're going to freak out even more than you are right now." He looked over at her to see if she had managed to crack a smile at his weak attempt at a joke. She remained stone-faced on the sofa. He sighed and made his way through the maze of boxes and came to sit down beside her.

"How's your toe?" He asked cautiously, rubbing her back.

"My toe's fine Lucas."

"Than what's the matter Peyt."

She sighed loudly, alerting him of her annoyance. "Nothing is going on Lucas."

"Don't lie to me Peyton. You've been on edge since we moved in. Tell me what the problem is so we can fix it."

"The problem is all these damn boxes." That was a lie, the boxes weren't the whole problem and she knew it. But that's what she was going to use for right now, and the boxes really were an annoyance. They were all labeled and stacked in the appropriate room, creating a walking hazard every way they turned. They'd managed to build a path that led from the front door to each room. It was a ridiculous way to live even if the situation was only temporary. "I can't live like this anymore, it's crazy. If I'm not running into one box, I'm digging through another to find an empty sketchbook. I don't know why you won't let me help you unpack, the doctor never said I couldn't lift anything. I'm not completely helpless."

"I know you're not helpless Peyton."

"Than why are treating me like I am."

"Do you just feel like arguing today, or what?" The truth was that they had been arguing a lot more than usual over the past month. The stress of moving and packing and house shopping was finally catching up to them.

Peyton glared at him and shook her head angrily. "You know what Lucas? I'm going to bed. Feel free to sleep on the couch." She pulled herself to her feet as quickly as a pregnant woman can.

"What the hell am I sleeping on the couch for?" Lucas instantly regretted raising his voice to her. "Peyton I'm sorry." She walked right past him and down the hallway, slamming their bedroom door behind her.

"Shit." He muttered to himself. He exhaled sharply and scratched the back of his head. All the pregnancy books he'd been reading had made it very clear that stress was the last thing an expectant mother needed. But her mood swings weren't making his life any easier.

He waited a few minutes before going to check on her. It had been quiet in the back room for a while he figured it was safe. Tapping softly on the door, Lucas waited for a response, when she didn't answer he opened the door. Peyton was lying across their bed with her back to the door.

"Peyton." He said quietly as he walked across the room towards the bed.

"What?" she asked, still not looking at him.

"Can we talk?" He sat at the spot near the end of the bed and reached out his arm to gently touch her leg.

"I don't really feel like talking, I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

"Please talk to me Peyton."

"About what Lucas?"

"Your mini-rampage a few minutes ago would be a good place to start. What was that all about."

"It's just stress." Her voice began to soften. "There's just stuff all over the place. I don't have a place to draw, which is something I need."

"That's it? You promise me that there is nothing bigger going on."

"That's it." She nodded.

Lucas stretched out on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't just you Lucas, believe me." She said. Her finger lightly traced the outline of his jaw. "I'm sorry too."

I shouldn't be egging you on like I did. No more arguing alright? You and the baby don't need it." He kissed her.

"You don't need me yelling at you about the clutter and my stubbed toe. You've been busting your ass for the last two weeks trying to get our house in order by yourself. I just hope you know how much I appreciate everything you do for me."

"I do know."

"Moving back here was supposed to be a good thing for us, you know. But we can't seem to stop arguing, and we used to never fight. Do you even remember the last time we fought?"

Lucas grinned and covered his eyes with his hands. "I do remember actually. It was a few months after we had gotten married and I, regrettably, put the empty milk carton back into the fridge. You were so pissed, but in your defense you did have a strip due. You whipped that empty carton at me with impressive force. That fight ended up lasting almost a week, I slept on the couch."

"You seem to remember that well." Peyton pushed him playfully. "I wasn't looking for a specific example. My point is that we hardly ever fight and this move is getting really getting to us, and I don't want that."

"I don't want it either. That's why I think that you need to call Haley, and you two need to go spend the day together. Get out of the house, relax, and I'll work on these boxes." Peyton started to protest but he quickly cut her off. "No arguing Peyton, remember. Now will you please go and call Haley."

"Alright, I'm going to call her right now, don't get in a huff now. I'll be right back." She kissed him before grabbing the phone from it's nightstand cradle and leaving the room.

Lucas felt his eyelids grow heavy, the darkness of the room allowing him to drift easily in and out of sleep. His eyes finally closed, his tired body finally succumbing to the necessity of rest.

But his slumber didn't last long, Peyton's voice cut through the quiet house. His eyes shot open and he sprang forward in bed when he heard her yell his name. There was panic evident in her already shaky voice, he knew instantly that something was very wrong. He flew out of bed and ran down the hallway to the living room. Turning the corner he stood frozen at the sight of his wife, hunched over in pain. Lucas rushed to her side and caught her just as she fell to her knees.

"Lucas help me." She pleaded with him, holding her stomach. "Oh god it hurts."

He was lost with no idea what to do. Should he call 911 or stay by his wife's side? His body felt like someone had pushed the slow-motion button.

"Lucas there's something wrong with the baby." Those six words terrified him to the core. He was completely helpless, there was nothing he could do.

"Lucas wake up." He felt a slight nudge from the person next to him. He sat forward in bed and turned to see Peyton with a look of concern washed over her face, sitting next to him. He breathed a small sigh of relief knowing that what he'd just experienced was just a dream. "Are you ok, you were tossing around in your sleep."

He closed his eyes at the touch of her cool hand to his cheek and kissed the inside of her palm. "It was just a bad dream, I'm ok."

"You want to tell me what it was about?"

"No. I'm ok though, really." He offered reassuringly. "Go back to sleep Peyt."

"Lucas, you're shaking." She grabbed his hand.

"Peyton." He kissed her. "I'm fine."

A little more convincing and Lucas had finally gotten Peyton back to sleep, but rest wouldn't come as easily for him. He was wide-awake, staring up at the ceiling trying in vain to push the nightmarish images from his mind. Lucas rolled over on his side, finding some comfort after placing his hand on Peyton's stomach. He felt the slight movements of their baby from under his hand, the constant rhythm aiding his sleep. He finally closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

_So there it is, the first chapter of the sequel. Like always, tell me what you guys think, your reviews mean everything. I couldn't find the right place to put the effects Dan's death had on everyone, so that will all be in the upcoming chapters._


	2. A Familiar Face

**Don't Let Go**

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters are mine.

**Authors Note**: This chapter is a small recap of what happened during the ten years since the group was in high school. There's a little background on Nathan and Haley and some extra stuff with Peyton and Lucas.

**Chapter 2**

"I'm worried about Lucas." Peyton said aloud while she browsed through a rack of clothes. Haley had happily agreed to spend the day with her best friend after Peyton had called her a few nights ago.

"Why, what's up?" Haley asked peering over the top of the clothes rack across from Peyton.

"He's just been acting a little off. That night I called you? I went back into our room and Lucas was thrashing around in bed and mumbling in his sleep. It was like he was having a nightmare, I had to wake him up. He was shaking Haley and it scared me. I asked him what was going on but he just brushed it off."

"What do you think is the matter?"

"I don't know. He did this same thing before Dan died, closing himself off I mean. I know he thinks he's somehow protecting me by keeping things from me. But I need him to open up."

"How's everything else going with you guys."

Peyton sighed. "This whole moving thing is ridiculous. We're fighting more than we ever have before. I blew up at him the other night for no reason."

"Well the good thing about pregnancy is you can blame it all on the hormones." Haley laughed and Peyton smiled.

"So do you have any of that classic Haley advice to share with me?"

"I think you and Lucas just need to sit down and talk. Tell him you're worried, he'll talk Peyton I know he will."

"Dear Abby herself couldn't have given better advice." Peyton laughed.

"Oh it wasn't that great, I think we both know that talking this stuff out is the best advice." Haley walked over and gave Peyton a quick hug.

"Thanks Haley."

"Oh come on, I love you both. You never have to thank me for anything."

Peyton smiled and shifted her feet. Her legs were beginning to feel like lead and her back had begun to ache. She was beginning to feel the effects of carrying around another human being, no matter how small they were. Haley noticed her discomfort.

"Does you back hurt."

"Yeah, I've just been on my feet for awhile." Peyton answered.

"Ok let's go down to the food court, we can sit and talk for awhile." Haley put back the t-shirt she was looking at and grabbed Peyton's hand.

"That sounds good."

The two women made their way through the droves of Saturday shoppers. Peyton had noticed more and more over the past few months that there were so many young babies in this town. And they all seemed to be at the mall on this day, mothers pushing strollers were everywhere. A little boy was being pushed past her and he looked up at her suddenly and waved his little hand wildly in her direction. Peyton smiled and waved back.

She looked back over at Haley. "So how are things with you and Nathan?"

Haley suddenly had a goofy grin plastered across her face. "Things are really good. I wish he could be home a little more often, but the dealership is doing so good right now I can understand." Nathan was now in control of Dan's dealership and business was beginning to pick up again.

"That's good to hear, when I talked to Karen the other day she said the café was having it's best month in years."

"It is, we're doing really well. Hopefully our numbers will keep going up." After college, Haley had returned to Tree Hill with a degree in business and an offer from Karen to become a full partner in the café. Haley, of course, had gladly accepted.

"So anything new in the lives of my two favorite people?"

"Well, let's see, we painted the living room a new color, I bought some new sheets for the guest bedroom and Nathan had a sinus infection last week." Haley rambled off.

"So that exciting huh?" Peyton laughed.

"Yeah , we're just a bunch of crazy kids." Haley said sarcastically. "But I'm not complaining, we've just gotten comfortable in our routine. That's not a bad thing, right?"

"No it's not a bad thing." She said softly. "You and Nathan have had a lot of ups and downs, now you're back on and you're both in a good place together." Haley nodded.

Saying Nathan and Haley had had some ups and downs was a pretty big understatement. After high school they had tried to keep their relationship going over the long distance between them. She was in college three thousand miles away in California and he was back in North Carolina at UNC with Peyton and Lucas. The distance had eventually become too much and they parted amicably, although they were soon miserable without each other. When college was over and they both eventually made their way back to the familiarity of the town where they had grown up and fallen in love, it was obvious to the people closest to them that those sparks were still there. It just took them awhile to realize it and find each other again. They were together now and had been for two years, and neither of them could picture a life without the other.

The girls found a table near the edge of the food court and Peyton breathed a small sigh of relief as she sat in her chair, her feet wouldn't have been able to hold out much longer.

"I'm gonna grab a coffee, you want a water or a decaf?" Haley asked.

"I'm staying away from coffee, including decaf, just to be safe. A water would be good, thanks Haley."

Peyton took the time to call Lucas at home, just to see what he was doing.

"Hey," She smiled when he answered. "I miss you."

"You've only been gone for two hours, and you already miss me."

"Yeah, I do. So what are you up to today?" she asked.

"I'm just finishing setting up my office. And I just got off the phone with my editor actually."

"What did he have to say?"

"He just wanted to let me know that I'm all clear to work from home, I'll still have to go back to Raleigh every few weeks for staff meetings and stuff. But for the most part I can work entirely from home."

"That's great Luke, it'll be nice to be home with you more."

"I know. So how's the shopping trip going?"

"It's good, Haley and I are just catching up on the stuff we've missed over the past few months. And speaking of Haley, she's heading back over here. I'll see you when I get home, I love you."

"I love you too."

She closed her phone and smiled knowing that even a simple phone call could still make her feel incredible.

"So how is Lucas?" Haley set Peyton's water bottle on the table in front of her.

"How did you know who that was?"

"You have that 'I'm so in love' look that you always get when you talk to Lucas."

Peyton blushed, a large smile creeping across her face.

"Nathan and I have talked about it." Haley said sipping from her iced coffee.

"Talked about what?"

"Getting married." Peyton was genuinely surprised Haley nodded.

"Nathan is the one who's brought it up. It's nothing serious, we've just talked casually about it."

"Well that's great Hales." Peyton sensed her hesitation. "Isn't it?"

"How did you know you wanted to marry Lucas?"

Peyton raised her eyebrows. "Are _you _not sure you want to get married?"

"I don't know. I love Nathan I really do, I'm just not sure I'm ready to get married yet." She looked at Peyton. "How did you know with Lucas?"

"I don't know really. I mean I know why I married him. Do you really want to hear all this?" Peyton laughed.

"Yeah come on." Haley encouraged.

"Alright, Lucas was the one who always talked about getting married but I never saw myself as the marrying type. It was never a question of loving Lucas, I've been in love with him since I was 17. I was just never sure that marriage was something I wanted. But after we graduated from college things started changing, we were renting this little apartment in Raleigh. It was the first time we had ever really lived together and I suddenly had a whole new perspective on our relationship."

"Living together will definitely do that." Haley nodded.

"Yeah, it was an incredible experience. I was waking up next to him every morning and on the mornings I would wake up before the alarm I'd just lay in bed and watch him sleep. And every breath he would take, I could feel myself loving him more." Peyton looked over at Haley. "That sounded corny didn't it?"

Haley shook her head and smiled. "It doesn't sound corny at all."

"I just can't even explain it Haley, the littlest things had me loving him more. The way he ate his cereal in the morning, he would always leave two Froot Loops in the bottom of his bowl, god I loved that." She smiled to herself. "And when he was working on an article and concentrating really hard he would stick his tongue out one side of his mouth, or when he would sing Sinatra songs in the shower. I just loved him so much." She looked over at Haley who was grinning, Peyton just laughed.

"So that's how you knew you wanted to marry Lucas, he ate his cereal weird?"

"Well you didn't let me finish Haley. A few weeks after we moved into our apartment I came down with a really nasty case of the flu, I mean really bad. I couldn't keep anything down for days, I lost over eight pounds in three days. I felt like absolute crap, and to top it all off I ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor because I would spend the whole night throwing up. Lucas had this important job interview the next day for a pretty big sports magazine, but instead of going to bed and resting he stayed up the entire night with me. He'd hold my hair back when I got sick and then he would rub my back while I tried to get some sleep. He was supposed to be up early the next morning to catch his flight to New York, but when I woke up he was right next on the bathroom floor holding me in his arms. I woke him up but he said he couldn't leave me when I needed him."  
  
Haley shook her head. "That's soâ€ wow"

Peyton nodded. "He missed the interview, didn't get the job. And to this day he's never brought it up, never blamed me for not getting the job. When I woke up next to him that morning and saw what he had sacrificed for me I knew I couldn't ever let him go, that I had to spend the rest of my life loving him as much as he did me. That is when I knew I wanted to marry him."

"Who knew my best friend could be so romantic, that's amazing Peyton."

"Peyton Sawyer?" A familiar voice came from behind the table where Peyton was currently sitting. She saw Haley's eyes widen as she recognized the face, and she spun around quickly in her seat and saw someone she hadn't seen in almost ten years.

"Brooke?"

_Please read and review. We'll find out where Brooke has been in the next chapter._


	3. High School Reunion

**Don't Let Go**

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters are mine.

**A/N**: Updates are coming sooner, hopefully. Thank you all for reading.

**Chapter 3**:

It had been nearly ten years since Peyton had last seen the woman who was her former best friend. After their historical fall out over Lucas during their Junior year of high school, the two friends parted ways and it was less than amicable. Brooke took to spreading some nasty rumors about Peyton around town and then proceeded to somehow get her kicked off the cheerleading squad. It bothered Peyton at first, losing her best friend over a guy. But she loved Lucas and it was the right decision according to her heart.

The last time they saw each other was the night of their high school graduation. There was something about the spectacle of the night, the fireworks and the excitement of it all, that allowed Peyton and Brooke to call a sort of truce and share a short but genuine goodbye. And then they both went in their separate directions without a backwards glance.

Haley had filled Peyton in over the years on Brooke's comings and goings. Brooke left Tree Hill right after high school, except she skipped college and went straight for a career. Since she was a girl Brooke had wanted a career in modeling, so she headed straight to New York City with big aspirations. She soon learned that it was hard to get work as a model. She landed a few small magazine pages and she modeled for a shoe company for a few weeks. The gigs she got were never enough to pay the rent, and so she was forced to move back to Tree Hill with her tail between her legs. According to Haley she was corking as a cosmetics counter girl in a department store in the mall.

It was a shock now for Peyton to see Brooke standing before her in the middle of the Tree Hill mall food court. "Brooke? This is a surprise."

"What are you doing in Tree Hill? I thought you moved away after college, at least that's what I heard." Brooke said moving closer to Haley and Peyton's table. Compared to Peyton, Brooke didn't know much about what happened to Peyton after college. Brooke Davis could hold a grudge like no one else, and that's what she'd done with Peyton. It didn't matter that she had never loved Lucas, all that mattered to her was that Peyton had stolen him from her.

"I did move away for awhile, but I'm back now."

"Why and the hell would you want to move back here by choice." Brooke scoffed. Her personality hadn't changed a bit.

Peyton didn't want to just announce she was pregnant to this person she hadn't seen in years, and with whom she shared an icy relationship. Peyton shifted in her chair uncomfortably, not wanting to turn too much and reveal her swollen belly. She looked over at Haley for some help.

Haley noticed the look and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Peyton's pregnant." Peyton grew wide-eyed and rubbed a hand across her face. And the secret was out.

It was Brooke's turn to look surprised. She hadn't noticed Peyton's stomach at first, but now as she glanced over she could tell that Peyton looked pregnant. She wasn't sure how to react to the news, should she congratulate her? Congratulations didn't seem right coming from her. Sarcasm was her chosen route, "So Peyton Sawyer went and got herself knocked up."

Peyton smirked and shook her head at Brooke's reply. So this is how Brooke wanted to play it after all this time? Peyton had no problem playing her games, she'd done it for years growing up with Brooke. "It's Scott actually"

"What is Scott?" Brooke questioned.

"My last name, its Peyton Scott now. I went and got married before getting knocked up." Peyton shot back. Haley just sort of sat back and watched the events unfold, she knew things were going to get ugly fast.

"So you and Lucas went off and got married, that is so sweet. So you're going to move back here and raise your little Luke Jr. together like the perfect family."

"Well that's the plan Brooke."

"Watch that boy of yours, he likes to cheat." Brooke spat.

"Oh, here we go. We're gonna drag all this stuff out again after eleven years. Get over it Brooke, you two weren't married. You were casually dating and it was in high school. Don't blame me because he didn't love you." Peyton couldn't believe they were having this ridiculous show down in the middle of the food court. "I can't do this anymore Brooke, I've put this all behind me. It's done."

Haley stood and helped Peyton gather their stuff from the table. Brooke just stood there in silent anger, Peyton walked past her without a word. Haley walked past her and with voice dripping with sarcasm she said, "It was lovely seeing you again Brooke, reminded me of high school."

"Peyton wait up." Haley shouted after her. Peyton was surprisingly quick on her feet and hadn't stopped walking once she got out of the food court. "Peyton, you need to slow down."

She slowed her pace and eventually stopped walking and turned to face Haley. Her cheeks were flushed red with anger. "I just want to go home Haley."

"Are you ok? Do you want to talk about this?"

Peyton paused for a minute and didn't know what to say. "It's just frustrating knowing that she still holds this grudge, and I guess I do too."

"That's how Brooke is and always will be, you should know that. You used to be her best friend."

"I know. I'm not going to let her ruin our day, let's head home to the guys and we can order a pizza pr something."

"That sounds good. Are you sure you're ok after this Brooke stuff though?"

"I'm sure Haley, I'm just going to forget it. Stressing over this stuff isn't good for the baby. I'm over it. Let's go."

Haley gave in and the girls left the mall. Peyton's mood had lightened considerably and she seemed to be in better spirits as they reached Haley's car. But Peyton was still brewing inside as she thought about her encounter with Brooke over and over on the ride home.

_A/N: Review and let me know how you liked it. The first few chapters are sort of slow, but they're all leading up to the big stuff which I am really excited to write. Next chapter is going to focus on Nathan and Lucas and their relationship._


	4. Everything In Its Place

**Don't Let Go**

**Authors Notes**: I know this story is coming along slowly, but stick with me. I'm getting to the "meat" of the story soon. So please read and review.

**Chapter 4**:

It had taken them almost four hours, but Lucas and Nathan had managed to unpack all the remaining moving boxes that had taken over the living room. After Peyton's rant the other night about the mess, Lucas had called his brother and asked for his help. So while the girls were at the mall, the guys worked like mad to get the house ready in time. He wanted to surprise her, and maybe get rid of some of her stress.

There was only a box of dishes left to unpack and Nathan had already gotten started on it. Lucas pulled a couple of beers from the fridge and handed one to his brother.

"Hey Luke, are you scared?" Nathan asked, popping the top from his bottle.

"Of what, letting you unpack our dishes? The only person who should be scared by that is you. If you break Peyton's favorite coffee mug she will kill you." Lucas pointed at the bright red cup in Nathan's hand and grinned.

Nathan laughed and set the mug exaggeratedly carefully into the cupboard. "I actually meant are you scared about becoming a father?"

"Oh." Lucas said. "Well it's not so much that I'm scared as I am terrified."

Nathan looked at him in surprise. "Really?"

"I've been reading some of Peyton's baby books, in secret of course. And believe me Nathan I'm excited about being a dad, but it also scares the shit out of me. There is so much stuff to learn. I mean, did you know you're not supposed to lay babies on their stomachs? They can die from SIDS in their sleep. I didn't know that, what would have happened if I hadn't have read that?"

"Luke I'm sure these are all things first time parents worry about. What does Peyton have to say about this?"

"I haven't talked to her about it." Lucas sheepishly admitted.

"Don't you think these are the things you are supposed to share with your wife?"

"You're probably right but she needs to concentrate on herself and the baby. She doesn't need to be worrying about her insecure husband. It's nothing I need to concern her about anyway, I'll get over it."

"Well I still think you need to talk about this with Peyton, she might be feeling the same things as you."

"Yeah, I'll think about it. When did you get so good at this advice stuff?"

"Oh that's all Haley rubbing off on me." Nathan smiled. "Now quit moping around and help me finish this box."

After the last dish had been placed neatly in the cupboard, and the empty boxes had been broken down and tossed in the trash, the two brothers took a well-deserved break and collapsed on the couch with the last two beers from the six-pack. The house had changed dramatically in the last four hours. With Nathan's help Lucas had managed to turn their house into a home, and a well decorated one at that.

"I can't believe we actually did all that work in four hours." Nathan sighed.

"That was a lot of boxes." Lucas agreed in a slight daze. "A lot of boxes."

"Peyton is going to love this, plus you'll be out of that proverbial dog house. So you both win really."

"Well let's hope that's true."

"Hey Luke do you ever think about Dan?" Nathan asked suddenly.

"Wow. We're just jumping all in with these questions today." Lucas tried to laugh off the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach left by Nathan's question. It had been almost three months since Dan's death and the two brothers had rarely spoken of him. It wasn't a topic Lucas enjoyed discussing, even with his wife.

Nathan noticed Lucas' hesitance at his mention of Dan. "Forget I brought it up Luke."

"No it's alright Nate, if you want to talk about him we can." Lucas reassured him.

"I was just wondering if you ever thought about him." Nathan repeated his earlier question. It wasn't something Nathan liked to talk about either.

"As much as I wanted to put it all in the past and forget it all after he died, I guess there are times when I think about him. It's not even really him that I'm thinking about, it's mainly how I feel like I'm at a better place in my life now. I had been carrying all that baggage with me since I was ten years old, and it feels good to finally put it all behind me." Lucas remarked, looking up at Nathan who was staring off into oblivion. "Nathan?"

He snapped to attention and looked over at his brother. "Sorry." He smiled.

"Why are we talking about Dan all of a sudden?" Lucas wondered.

"I was actually thinking about him the other day, well I was thinking about kids which eventually lead to Dan. I remember the kind of father he was when I was growing up. He was overbearing and assertive and he intimidated the hell out of me as a kid. That's the kind of parenting I know, I don't know the nurturing, sensitive type you grew up with. I don't want to be like him when it comes to raising my own kids." Nathan said. Lucas could tell by his face that it was something Nathan really worried about. He didn't want to be his father.

"Nathan believe me, you are nothing like Dan. You've got nothing to worry about, besides you'll have Haley to keep you in line. And you can practice all that sensitive nurturing stuff with your niece or nephew." Lucas reassured him. Nathan managed a small smile of gratitude. It was about that time that they heard Haley's car pulling into the driveway and they both went out to meet their significant others.

Peyton's reaction to the house was worth all the time they had spent working on it. She was speechless as she toured the rooms in her house, free of boxes and clutter. Everything was finally in it's place and she could walk barefoot without fear of breaking her toes. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes and she pulled Lucas close and thanked him and then Nathan.

"I have one more surprise for you." He grabbed her hand and started to pull her away, before turning back and looking at Nathan and Haley. "Why don't you guys stay for dinner, we'll order pizza?"

"I'll call and order something." Nathan waved him off knowing that Lucas was excited about showing Peyton what he had planned.

He made her close her eyes as he lead her into one of the back rooms, she heard him click on the light as he instructed her to open her eyes. When she did she saw that he had taken their spare bedroom and turned it into an art studio for her, so she could have her own space to work. On the other side was his desk where he had set up an office for himself.

"Oh Lucas this is great." She smiled at him and walked over to her art table and ran her fingers over the bristles of her paintbrush.

"I know that you wanted a space where you could work and I figured the spare bedroom would work and I put my office in here because I like being around you. Oh and I went ahead and unpacked all your art supplies and set everything up for you so you wouldn't have to worry about it."

"Thank you Lucas." Peyton smiled and walked back over to him and kissed him softly on the temple. "I love it."

"I thought you might."

The four of them shared a nice dinner, catching up on things that had been going on and laughing about old memories. As the dishes were being cleared Haley noticed Peyton's eyelids growing heavy, she looked exhausted from spending the afternoon on her feet shopping.

"It's getting late Nathan, we should let Peyton get some rest." She looked over at Nathan and he nodded.

"Yeah," he said, standing from his chair, "we need to get going. Thanks for the dinner, Lucas I'll call you some time this week about going fishing soon."

"Sounds good." Lucas shook his brother's extended hand and hugged Haley, Nathan leaned over and kissed Peyton's forehead before grabbing Haley's hand in his and letting himself out the door.

"Ok I have one last thing to show you before you go and get some much needed rest." Lucas said, pulling Peyton up gently from the table.

He lead her into the one room she hadn't explored and was surprised to find it mostly empty except for an old rocking chair. She looked at him confused. "I thought we could turn this into the nursery, put the crib in this corner and a changing table over there." He had a big grin on his face as she waved his arms around visually mapping out the room. Lucas walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. "I went over to my mom's house today and asked her if she still had the rocking chair she used with me, turns out she had it in storage and she wanted us to have it."

For the second time of the night Peyton had tears in her eyes, it was he first piece of baby furniture they had gotten and it had special significance coming from Karen. It was a beautiful old rocking chair. "It's gorgeous Lucas, I love it."

"I'm glad." He rubbed her back. "Now let's get you in bed, you look beat."

_A/N: I've already said this but, I know that it might feel like the chapters are moving slowly, but there are a few things that I need to establish before I get to the most important part of the story. So please hang in there, it's going to get a lot more serious and important soon!_


	5. Baby Furniture and Business Trips

**Don't Let Go**

_A/N: Thanks to all my readers for sticking with this story. I'm finally getting to the place that I looked forward to writing, the drama. Hope you enjoy_

**Chapter 5**

The next month passed by slowly and uneventfully. Peyton's stomach had expanded a bit more as she entered her seventh month of pregnancy. Her routine had slowly changed, she worked a little less and rested a little more. Lucas on the other hand was working more than usual.

He'd been back to Raleigh three times during the last month for various staff meetings. Peyton was a little frustrated with his frequent trips, and while he hated being away from her it was part of his job.

They had decided to spend the afternoon trying to get the nursery in order. They had accumulated a few more pieces of baby furniture, and all the room needed was a fresh coat of paint and a crib. They had decided on a soft shade of green for the walls. Since the sex of the baby was going to remain unknown they needed a neutral color. And Peyton had fallen in love with the color after seeing it in a baby magazine.

The baby furniture was covered with large white drop cloths and trays full of green paint were scattered around the room. Lucas had painted much of the room without any trouble, although he wasn't get much help from his wife who had opted to supervise from a comfortable position in the rocking chair.

"You missed a spot." Peyton directed towards Lucas.

"What?"

"You missed a spot up by the ceiling." Lucas looked up at the white area of paint that he had missed with his brush.

"Well it's so nice of you to notice my mistake from the comfort of your rocking chair."

"I'm just taking a break."

"You have been taking a break for the last hour." He smiled before turning back and painting over the missed spot.

"Well the next time you carry around another human being plus thirty pounds of extra weight you can have all the breaks you want honey."

"Point taken." He grumbled.

Peyton stood slowly from her chair and walked over to where he was standing. "The nursery looks good."

"We still have to put up the wallpaper and arrange the furniture but it's almost done."

"Well since you painted all day the least I could do is make dinner."

"That's a deal." He leaned down and kissed Peyton, running a quick hand over her curved stomach before she left.

In between checking her sauce and putting a pot of water on to boil Peyton thought she heard a phone ringing. After a bit of searching she found Lucas' cell phone under a stack of unopened mail. She answered it and was irritated to hear his boss' voice on the other end.

She found Lucas in the nursery cleaning up and handed him the phone. Peyton covered the receiver and reminded him of his promise of no work over the weekend. He nodded at her and took the phone.

Minutes later Lucas walked into the kitchen with a guilty look on his face. Peyton just stood there and shook her head. She couldn't believe it.

"Lucas please tell me you are not going into work this weekend after you promised me otherwise."

"Peyton I have to…" he started.

"Dammit Lucas." She stared at him, the disappoint me evident in her eyes. "This is the fifth time this month that you have had to drive back up to Raleigh for work. Wasn't the whole point of working from home so you could actually work from your home."

"I still have to go to meetings when they need me to, it's part of my job."

"Well your job is really starting to piss me off." She huffed. "When do you have to leave?"

"In a few hours."

"Oh, in a few hours that's great. Why don't I help you pack?" Peyton breezed past him in the direction of their bedroom, making great time for a pregnant woman.

"Peyton don't be mad." He said coming into the room.

"I am mad Lucas. I'm mad that lately you've been spending your weekends in another town. I'm mad that you are going to miss the breakfast with your brother and my best friend that we planned weeks ago."

Lucas was growing frustrated, not with his irritated wife but for but for the fact that he didn't like being away from when she was pregnant. He hated having to go to staff meetings and he hated being away from Peyton but he didn't have much of a choice.

"Are you having an affair?" her accusation snapped him back into reality.

"What? Peyton, are you serious? I cannot believe you just asked me that. I have never even thought about betraying you like that. Do you actually think I'm cheating on you." He asked, trying not to raise his voice to her.

"No, I didn't really think it was true." Peyton mumbled under her breath.

Lucas sighed. "It's only two days, and believe me I wouldn't go if I didn't have to."

"Why do you have to go?"

"Well if I don't go I could get fired."

"What would be so bad about that?" She was just arguing for that sake of arguing. She knew he was going to leave, he had to. But that wasn't going to stop her from letting him know that she was angry.

"You're being ridiculous Peyton." He said sternly, as he began to fill his suitcase. "We have a baby on the way and a mortgage to pay every month, this job is important. We need the money."

Money had never been a source of arguments between the Scott's, but that was when it was just the two of them living in modest apartment. But now there were plenty of new expenses like the house payment and doctor bills, not to mention the baby that was in it's way

"Fine, go to your meeting. Your black slacks are hanging in the laundry room, be sure to pack them." Peyton walked into their bathroom and closed the door, leaving Lucas to pack by himself.

Dinner was quiet. Peyton was still simmering over being left alone again, and Lucas didn't want to say anything to her that would upset her anymore.

Peyton had lost her appetite after their fight, so she spent most of dinner pushing the food around her plate. She hated fighting with him and she knew how stubborn she was being but she just wanted to be with her husband.

"Why don't you go lie down and I'll clean up after dinner." Lucas said standing from the table. Peyton silently agreed with him and left the table without a word.

Lucas took his time washing the dishes, hoping it would give them each time to cool off. When he walked back into the bedroom Peyton was in bed propped up against some pillows reading.

"I have to get going." He said softly as he grabbed his coat from the closet. "Peyton I need you to not be mad at me right now. Please."

"I'm not mad Lucas, just a little sad." Even now it was rare for Peyton to make such an admission. While the depressed gloomy girl he had fallen in love with as a teenager had long since faded away after they married, Peyton still had the occasional hard time opening up to her longtime companion. Lucas felt his heart break a little at her admission.

"It's only two days Peyton, I swear when I get back I will make this up to you." He knelt down by her bed and held her hand to his cheek. "I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll miss you." She whispered softly.

"I'll miss you too." He kissed her softly, letting his lips linger on hers for a few extra second. "I love you Peyton." He kissed her once more on the forehead before standing up and grabbing his suitcase.

"I love you Lucas." He smiled at her before walking out of their room. She waited until she heard the telltale click of the front door before burying her nose into her book.

_A/N: I was going to end this chapter a little farther down the road, but this felt right. The upcoming chapters will be the most intense, there is going to be some major turmoil coming up in Lucas and Peyton's lives. So keep reading, and don't forget to review!_


	6. It's Going to be Ok

**Don't Let Go**

**A/N**: I'm taking a bit of a hiatus from The Beautiful Dance to concentrate on this story and a new one I've been working on that's pretty angst-ridden and depressing, it's something a little different. But I will be updating BD soon, honestly I'm in a bit of a writer's block.

**Chapter 6**

Lucas could feel the beginnings of a headache as his temples began to throb. He rubbed in vain at the spot knowing that it wouldn't be enough to stop the aching. He'd spent a very long weekend in Raleigh attending far too many long and tedious staff meetings for the newspaper. Not much had been achieved at the meetings, or at least he thought nothing much had been achieved. Concentrating on changed deadlines and new columns had proven to be difficult for Lucas. He was still thinking about the fight with Peyton and how hurt she was that once again he had left her alone because of his job.

Every free chance he had during the weekend he spent it on the phone with her. She sounded like she was doing better with the situation, all things considered. She'd spent Saturday with Haley and Nathan at the breakfast he was also supposed to have attended. Haley had called him later that morning for the sole purpose of making him feel even worse than he already did about leaving Peyton. After listening to her lecture him about putting family before work, Lucas asked if she would stay with Peyton until he got back. She of course agreed, and it made him feel just a little better that she wouldn't be all alone in that big house.

Before Lucas left for home he did something he knew Peyton would appreciate, he sat down with his boss had let him know of his situation. That he had a pregnant wife at home and he was not going to be able to make it back to Raleigh every weekend to attend every meeting. His boss tried to put up a fight to the young journalist's demands but quickly gave in knowing that Lucas was the best he had. Lucas left the meeting feeling a little more confident about his negotiation skills and a little relieved that he would be taking good news home to his wife.

He left Raleigh early Sunday morning without calling to let Peyton know, figuring she was probably asleep and knowing she needed to rest. His headache started almost as son as he got on the road. He hadn't gotten a healthy amount of sleep over the past days, and the dark circles under his eyes were a reminder of that. He was negotiating with himself over whether or not he should pull over and retrieve the aspirin from his overnight bag which was conveniently located in the back seat. It was only a forty-five minute drive back to Tree Hill, but he wasn't sure he could wait that long. So he pulled his Jeep Cherokee over to the side of the road and dug around in the back for his bag. He found the aspirin and his cell phone which he had mistakenly tossed into the bag while he was packing. Looking at the screen he was alarmed to see that there were over ten missed calls in the last hour.

He checked the number and realized it was Haley's cell phone. Lucas was a little frightened to see that she had called that many times, that could not have meant good thing. He nervously checked his voicemail and felt his heart sink when he heard the first of Haley's messages.

_"Lucas, it's Haley. I'm at the hospital with Peyton, she was having early contractions but the doctor thinks there may be something worse going on. Peyton is freaking out, you need to get here now. We're at St. Margaret's Hospital, Maternity Ward. Hurry Lucas."_

It was the only message Lucas needed to hear. He threw the phone onto the passenger seat and sped off. His heart raced as he drove down the nearly empty highway. His mind was all over the place, he was lucky to be able to keep his car on the road. Realizing he should try and call Haley, he reached frantically for his cell phone. After a few rings he got her voicemail and hung up the phone.

He drove well above the speed limit and made it to the hospital in twenty minutes. He parked his car in the closest space and ran as fast as he could through the sliding glass doors of the hospital's main entrance. Lucas could hardly breathe as he tried to explain the situation to the older woman sitting at the admission's desk.

"My wife…" he took a few more breaths. "my wife was brought here this morning, she's in the maternity ward. What floor is that on?"

"That's on the fourth floor, the elevators are right around this corner." She motioned to the corner behind her.

"Thank you." He said before running in the direction she had pointed.

The elevator ride seemed to last forever, his impatience only made it worse. He was out into the hall before the elevator doors had finished opening. He had no idea where he was going as he wandered the fourth floor, he would have continued to wander if it hadn't have been for Haley.

She nearly ran him over in the hallway. "Lucas thank god."

"What's going on Haley? Where's Peyton?" Haley could sense the panic in his voice.

"She's down the hall, they were prepping her for surgery when I left the room."

"Why is she going into surgery, I thought she was just having early contractions. Haley I need to see her."

"The doctor can tell you everything, I'll take you to Peyton." She grabbed his hand and led her frantic friend down the hall.

Lucas could feel tears burning at the back of his eyes threatening to fall as he stepped into his wife's room and saw her hooked up to monitors with a few nurses and a doctor hovering over her bed. Peyton looked more frightened than he did, he could tell by her tear-stained cheeks that she had been crying.

He kneeled down next to her bed and held her hand tightly in his. "I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here Peyton, I didn't have my phone on me. I'm sorry Peyton." He could see more tears brimming in her eyes and he didn't want her to cry anymore so he stroked her hair softly and then stood to talk to the doctor. Haley took his place next to her bed.

"What's happening to my wife?" He asked the doctor.

"Mr. Scott your wife was admitted after she came to the emergency room complaining of early contractions and some severe pain around her mid-section. We tried a commonly prescribed drug to attempt to stop her labor, but it had little effect. After we ran a few more tests we discovered that your wife has a placental abruption." The doctor informed him calmly.

"What does that mean?" Lucas interrupted.

"A placental abruption means that the placenta is tearing away from the uterine wall. This is putting both the baby and your wife in danger. We have to perform a c-section immediately in order to save both of them. I've already explained all of this to your wife."

"But the baby is only seven and a half months along, isn't that too soon?" He looked back at his wife who was holding onto Haley's hand as a nurse checked her blood pressure.

"Your baby's chances of surviving are greater if we deliver now, a team will be in the operating room to take care of the baby as soon as it is delivered. I promise you Mr. Scott that we will take care of your family." The doctor gave Lucas a reassuring pat on his shoulder. "We have to take your wife back in a few minutes."

Haley left the room while Lucas spent a few last minutes with her before she was wheeled away for surgery. "Everything is going to be ok." He whispered reassuringly in her ear.

"I'm scared." She admitted tearfully. Lucas wiped away her falling tears with the back of his hand.

"I know you're scared baby, but everything is going to be ok. I promise you it's going to be ok."

"It's too early for the baby Lucas."

"The doctor said they will have a team in the operating room who are going to take care of the baby. It's ok Peyton, don't worry about it please." The doctor came back into the room and told them it was time to take Peyton back. A few nurses rolled a gurney into her room and Lucas stepped back as they transferred Peyton onto the gurney. He kissed her forehead and whispered once more in her ear that everything was going to be ok.

He had never seen her so scared as he watched the nurses wheel her away. In reality he had never been so scared before either, his entire life had just been taken away and placed in the hands of a team of surgeons. He didn't know what to do. Luckily he found Haley sitting in the waiting room with a cup of coffee waiting for him. He sat next to her and buried his face in his hands. He rubbed his back and said the same thing that he had told Peyton earlier, that everything was going to be ok. He hoped it was true.


	7. Don't Panic

**Don't Let Go**

**A/N:** Updates are coming sooner, but don't expect it to last. My classes are starting up again, and writing will become my second priority.

**Chapter 7**

Nearly two hours had passed since Peyton had been wheeled away into surgery. Lucas had spent most of the time wearing a hole into the linoleum floor as he paced the waiting room. Everyone was there to lend their support, Nathan had joined Haley soon after the surgery began and Karen and Keith had both left work as soon as they had heard. They had all made their attempts to comfort him but nothing seemed to take his edge off, he just wanted to be alone and keep pacing the floor.

Just as he was about to go ask thewoman at the front desk for any new information, he saw a surgical nurse walk through the double doors that led to the operating room. Lucas rushed over to her and threw a million questions her way. She tried to calm him down, and then pulled him away from the rest of the group.

"Mr. Scott, your baby is being taken down the Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit, you'll be able to see her as soon as the team there has her stabilized." The nurse informed him as thoroughly as she could.

"How's the baby doing?"

"She's premature, barely 27 weeks old. There is a chance her lungs may not be fully developed, we'll put her on some meds that will encourage development. Because she is so small she won't be able to coordinate sucking and swallowing, which will require a feeding tube being placed in her stomach. I know this is a lot of information to take in right now Mr. Scott, but the nurses in the NICU will explain it all when you go down." Lucas let all the information soak in slowly, he didn't want to miss anything important. All the medical talk made him seem so helpless, and with all the things going on in his head he missed the fact that the nurse had told him he had a daughter.

"Wait, did you say that I had a daughter?"

"Yes, you have a baby girl. Congratulations." The nurse tried to excuse herself, but Lucas stopped her one final time.

"Have you heard anything about my wife, is she still in surgery?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not aware of her condition. You'll have to wait for the doctor."

"Thank you for all your help." Lucas thanked the nurse.

He walked back to the waiting area where his family was anxiously awaiting any news. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel just then, he just learned that he had a sick baby girl who he wasn't allowed to see yet and his wife's condition was still a mystery. But he figured they all deserved to celebrate some good news.

His mom saw the look on his face and wondered what was going on. "Luke what's going on?"

"The nurse just told me that we had a baby girl, she's being taken down to the NICU. They have to get her stabilized and everything still, but I have a daughter." He beamed proudly.

"That's good news Lucas, congratulations." Karen hugged him tight. They all stood together congratulating the new dad.

"We have to stay positive now for Peyton and the baby." Haley urged. Lucas agreed and took the empty seat next to his mom.

The next hour seemed to creep by slower than ever as Lucas awaited word on his baby girl and wife. Coffee was the only thing keeping him from closing his eyes, but he couldn't rest until he knew what was going on. He scanned the waiting room, feeling grateful for the people who were there to support him. Haley was asleep on Nathan's shoulder and he kept occupied by flipping through a sports magazine. Karen was talking quietly with Keith about plans for the café. Lucas was so wrapped up in everyone else that he failed to notice the nurse, who had taken his daughter to the NICU, walk into the waiting area.

She tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. "Mr. Scott I just wanted to let you know that we have your daughter stabilized, and you can go up and see her as soon as you are ready."

Relief was the only thing he felt at the moment, it was a weight lifted off his shoulder to know that she was ok. "What floor is she on?"

"Third floor."

"Thank you very much." He thanked her before she left again.

"Mom, did you hear?" he turned to his mom who was looking back at him.

"I heard, why don't you go and check on the baby. We can wait here for any word on Peyton."

"I'll be on the third floor, any word on her and please send Nathan to get me."

"I will, go see your daughter."

Lucas had barely moved towards the stairs when the doctor walked into the waiting room. The look on the man's face caused Lucas' heart to drop, it wasn't a look that would inspire much hope.

The doctor motioned that he wanted to speak to Lucas in private. "Your wife is out of surgery, but there were a few complications."

"What kind of complications?"

"There was a tear in her uterus that caused heavy bleeding, it took longer than I had anticipated to get it under control. She lost a lot of blood and we had to perform a transfusion. Her body went through a lot of trauma during the operation and to help her recover fully, we put her into what is called a medically-induced coma."

"Wait, you put her in a coma? Why would you do that?" his patient and calm exterior had slowly begun to fade. He was scared now, more than he had been when he had first arrived at the hospital nearly five hours ago.

"Mr. Scott your wife's body needs time to sufficiently heal, this is the only way we can achieve this. She will be monitored around the clock, and if everything looks well in a few days we can bring her out of it."

"A few days, you want to keep my wife in a coma for a few days."

"It's all we can do right now, you can see Peyton as soon as…"

"Yeah I know the drill, I can see her as soon as she's stabilized." Lucas cut off the doctor. He turned his back on the older man and walked back to the chairs and collapsed into the nearest one. He couldn't talk, couldn't let anyone know what was happening. He just wanted to sit there and let his emotions take over.

Karen was by his side, with a comforting arm around his shoulder. "What did the doctor say?"

"There was a complication during the operation, she lost a lot of blood. They gave her a transfusion. Doctor said her body fought hard, and that he had to put her into a coma to help her body heal." Lucas said numbly.

"She's in a coma?"

"For a few days, at least. The doctor has the option of taking her out of it when he feels she's recovered. I can't see her until they get her stabilized in her room" He drew in a deep breath. "I'm scared mom."

"I know Lucas, but now is the time you need to stay strong for Peyton and the baby. They're depending on you to help get them through this. If anyone can stay strong during this time I know it's you."

"I hope so."

"I think instead of sitting here waiting around this depressing room anymore you need to go see your daughter." Karen urged. She had been looking for a way to get him to leave the cramped waiting room for the past few hours, but he had refused to leave.

"But what about Peyton?"

"I promise you, the second we hear anything we will come and get you. You need to go see her Lucas."

"Thank you mom. I'm going to go see her right now." He hugged Karen briefly before walking towards the elevator.

The nurse in the NICU had been waiting for him at the entrance to the ward. She smiled at the young man's nervous appearance. Many new father's had that same look in their eye the first time they see their child, one of fear and hope and excitement. Lucas had that exact feeling coursing through his body.

"Ok Mr. Scott, let's go meet your daughter."

_A/N: Don't quote me on the medical terminology. Some of it I looked up online, some of it I got from t.v. shows and I made up the rest. Review!!_


	8. Emily

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 8**

As Lucas was ushered into the NICU he was handed a blue paper gown to go over his clothes and a surgical mask, and instructed to put on both before he entered the small room where his daughter was. His nervous hands had difficulty tying the knot in his gown and one of the nurses helped him. The nurse gave him a few instructions about what would be happening when he went inside.

Lucas wouldn't be able to touch her just yet; there was too much risk with her fragile immune system. She was going to spend the next month in small plastic incubator that would help her maintain her body temperature and keep her safe from any germs.

It was hard for Lucas to see his baby in that condition. He could feel a lump growing in his throat as he sat in the chair near her incubator. This wasn't how anything was supposed to be. She was supposed to be healthy, not lying in a plastic crib with a catheter in her umbilical cord giving her fluids.

The nurse had suggested earlier that he talk to the baby, it helped in bonding new parents and their offspring. He wasn't sure what he should say, but so far it was the only way he could connect with her.

Lucas leaned in close to the incubator and spoke softly to her. "I'm your dad, I don't know what I should call you yet. I feel guilty that I can't call you by a name yet, your mom and I had talked a little about baby names but we hadn't decided on before you were born. You came a little earlier than we expected. But your mom was talking about naming you Emily if you were a girl, I wanted to name you Maggie but I think you look more like an Emily now. And I can't let my daughter go without a name, so we'll name you Emily Sawyer Scott. I know your mom will like it, plus she'll think I'm a great husband for using her maiden name as your middle name. She likes that kind if stuff"

He felt calm for the first time in hours as he talked to his small daughter, she couldn't even comprehend what he was saying but he felt at ease being near her, being able to watch her small chest rise and fall with every breath, and with every breath he could feel himself loving her even more than before.

"I wish your mom could be hear with us right now, but she's sick. As soon as she gets better she'll be here to see you. I know she's going to fall in love with you just like I did, but I don't know how your mom is going to feel about me falling in love with another girl."

Lucas kept his hands clasped together in his lap, it was the only way he could keep himself from reaching into the incubator to gently touch her small fingers. He wanted to hold her in his arms like other dad's got to do after their kids were born.

"You came a little sooner than we thought Emily, we don't even have your nursery finished yet. I don't even think we have a crib yet, I actually can't remember whether we do. But we have time to get all that still, the nurse says you have to stay here in the hospital for a while. But as soon as you are better we can take you home."

"There are a lot of people out there waiting for you and your mom. They're your family, you'll meet them soon. There's your grandma and grandpa, who are going to spoil you as soon as you're older. And there's your Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley. Your Uncle Nathan is a good guy, we didn't get along when we were younger but that's all in the past. Him and your Aunt Haley aren't married yet, but I say give it time. But just between you and me, Uncle Nathan bought he an engagement ring last week. Don't go telling anyone that, I was sworn to secrecy."

Lucas was about to start in on another story when he felt someone tap gently on his shoulder. He turned in his chair to see the nurse standing over his shoulder.

"Mr. Scott…" she started.

"Please, call me Lucas." He urged.

"Your brother is waiting outside the wing, he has some news about your wife and said he was supposed to retrieve you as soon as he heard."

"I know that this isn't your job, but could you let my brother know I'll be there in just a minute."

"Sure."

As she left the room again, Lucas turned back to where Emily was sleeping and placed his hand on top of the incubator.

"I'll be back soon Emily."

As he left the NICU he pulled off his paper gown and the surgical mask and dropped them into the nearest garbage can. He spotted Nathan leaning against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hey, what's happening with Peyton?" Lucas asked eagerly.

"The doctor came back down and told your mom that Peyton is stabilized in a room upstairs. You can go see her as soon as you want."

"Thanks Nathan, I want to go see her now."

"How's the baby?"

"She's really small, but the nurses are very optimistic about her being completely healthy eventually. Her name is Emily." Lucas beamed.

"Cute name." Nathan smiled at his older brother's enthusiasm over the new addition to his life.

"Which room is Peyton in?"

"Room 415, fourth floor. You want me to go up there with you?"

"No, thanks though Nathan. I want to do this alone." Lucas walked down the hall, his hands jammed in his pockets.

_Review!!_


	9. The Guilt He Carries

**Don't Let Go**

**A/N**: Again with my little disclaimer about my lack of medical knowledge, I'm not a doctor so the medical terminology isn't always 100 accurate. Lucas' mention of Peyton losing her mom and not wanting Emily to suffer that same fate is a nod to **ElisaCollette** who mentioned the scenario in her review, and it was exactly what I wanted to get across in my fic.

**Chapter 9**

An anxious Lucas met the doctor outside of Peyton's hospital room. The young man didn't want to wait around and listen to what the doctor had to say, he just wanted to see his wife.

"I realize that you are anxious to see your wife Mr. Scott, but I just wanted to let you know what you can expect to see when you go in. With a coma Peyton will be in a deep state of unconsciousness. She can breathe on her own but she won't be able to respond to your voice or your touch. We only expect to keep her in this state for no more than two days, the most important thing right now is that her body has time to heal. We do expect her to make a full recovery as soon as she is brought out of her coma. Unless you have anymore questions I'll let you go see your wife."

"No I don't have any more questions right now, thank you for your help with all this." The doctor shook Lucas' hand and let him into Peyton's room.

He heard the heavy door swing close behind him and walked into the dark room. The only light in the room was the soft yellow glow from above Peyton's hospital bed, it shone down on her bed softly illuminating her face. He sat down in the hospital chair near her bed and pulled it as close to her as he could.

"Hey." He whispered softly. For some reason Lucas had found that talking to his young daughter was easier than talking to his wife. It was hard seeing his usually strong wife unconscious in a hospital bed. Lucas tried hard to fight back his tears as he grabbed Peyton's hand in both of his and held onto it tight.

"I'm going to tell you something that I can't tell anyone else, I'm scared Peyton. I'm really scared that you might not wake up and I'm scared that you're going to wake up and not be the same person. I need you to wake up and be ok. We have a little girl downstairs that needs a mom. I see how much losing your mom when you were so young still affects you now, and I don't want that to happen to Emily. I don't want to raise her by myself, I need you beside me."

His lack of sleep was catching up to him fast as he felt his eyelids grow heavy. No amount of coffee could keep him going anymore. The stress of the day had worn him down. He rested his head on Peyton's bed and closed his eyes, still holding her hand.

He woke up a few hours later and stretched the sore muscles in his back. Lucas had naively hoped that this had all been a really bad dream and when he woke up Peyton would be lying next to him in their own bed far away from the sterile unfriendly walls of the hospital. But everything was just how he had left it when he closed his eyes. A light knock on the door turned his attention away from Peyton and towards the direction of the knock. His mother was standing in the doorway and she waved gently at him before coming into the room and standing near him.

"She looks peaceful." Karen remarked softly.

"Yeah I guess she does." He hadn't paid much attention before, his nerves were such a mess since he had gotten the phone call from Haley. But she did look at peace lying in the bed.

"How are you holding up? I see that you got some sleep which is good."

"I feel like this is my fault." Lucas admitted quietly.

"What? Lucas why do you say that?"

"Before I left for Raleigh, Peyton and I had a fight about me being gone so much. She didn't want me to go and I told her that I had to. You should have seen her when I left mom, she was so sad. And I did that to her. I should have been there when she was having problems, I should have been the one to take her to the hospital and hold her hand through this. But instead I was thinking of myself in Raleigh at some stupid staff meeting." He buried his head in his hands and let the tears that stung at the back of his eyes fall freely. Seeing her son falling apart before her, Karen grabbed a chair and sat next to Lucas wrapping her arms around her son's shoulders.

Karen had watched her only son grow into a mature and responsible man, knowing that she couldn't take all of the credit. Peyton had played a big part in his growing up as well. It seemed like only a little while ago she was cleaning up his skinned knees and cutting the crust off his sandwiches, now he was a husband and a father. But as she watched her son shed silent tears in the chair next to her, she saw him as the young man that he really was. He was only 28 years old and dealing with the fact that his wife and newborn daughter were both sick and in the hospital.

"Lucas you have to know that none of this is your fault. Peyton would have still gone into labor if you had been with her, and she still would have ended up here in the hospital. You can't blame yourself for what happened, you can't blame anyone for what happened. I know that you're scared and you don't know what to do, but that's why the rest of your family is out there in the waiting room to support you through this. Peyton and the baby need you to be strong through this."

"I know." He said as he wiped away the last of his tears. "I know mom."

"Alright I'm gonna leave you go, so you can be alone. I'll be out in the waiting room if you need anything." She leaned down and kissed the top of Lucas' head.

"Thanks mom."

Lucas waited until Karen had left the room before he said goodbye to Peyton. He stood from his chair and leaned over to kiss her in the forehead. Lucas stayed close to her and ran his hand over her golden curls.

"I'll be back soon, I love you Peyton." He whispered.

Lucas was surprised to see Haley still sitting in the same waiting room chair that she had been in earlier. She looked as tired as he did as her eyes lazily scanned an old magazine.

"Hales what are you still doing here? You look exhausted, why don't you go get some rest." Lucas said as he sat down in the chair next to her.

"Don't worry about me Luke, you have plenty of other girls to worry about. The café is closed for the day and this is where I want to be, to support you. And Peyton is my best friend and I'm not leaving until she wakes up. Nathan just ran across the street to get us some decent food and he'll be back here to keep us all company."

"You don't know how much this means to me Haley, you guys being here for me and Peyton. And Emily." Lucas couldn't help but smile when he mentioned his new daughter.

"So when do I get to see my sort-of niece?" Haley grinned.

"Soon, the nurse said I'm the only visitor for now. But as soon she's clear I'll take you back to see her. She's beautiful Hales, but she's so small and fragile it scares me."

"She's got that stubborn Sawyer and Scott blood running through her veins, she's a fighter Lucas. Emily's going to come out of this ok." Lucas nodded slowly. "When can I see Peyton?"

"You can see her now if you want. I feel guilty leaving her, but I want to check on Emily. I'm having to split my time between them and I don't want to leave one of them alone."

"I want to go see Peyton and I'll stay with her while you're with Emily. You're going to stretch yourself to thin trying to split your time between them."

"I'll be fine Haley. I'm going to run down to see Emily."

"Alright, I'll be with Peyton." Haley said as he walked towards the stairs.

_A/N: The next chapter will be focused a little on the Peyton/Haley friendship, and I'm going to tell a little of the Peyton/Lucas back story through Lucas' eyes as he talks to Emily._


	10. Revisiting the Past

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 10**

Haley James had never liked hospitals. As a young girl she had watched her grandmother die slowly from cancer in a cold and unfamiliar hospital room. As a woman so full of life and joy, she had grown to despise the place where people lost their hope as they watched their loved ones slip away. But not even her dislike of hospitals could keep her away from supporting two of the most important people in her life, and now she had Emily to add to that list. Her family needed her and she wasn't going anywhere.

Haley waited outside of Peyton's room until a nurse finished checking her vitals before entering the dark room quietly. She felt sad as she looked at Peyton who appeared to just be sleeping rather than lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Haley refused to shed the tears that were threatening to fall just then, even though her friend wouldn't be able to see her cry it was important to Haley that she remain optimistic amidst the sadness. She had to be strong for Lucas, and for Peyton.

"Only you could still have perfect hair in this situation." Haley remarked candidly as she looked at Peyton's blonde curls fanned over her hospital pillow. Taking residence in the plastic hospital chair, Haley sat quietly for a few moments trying to gather her thoughts.

"You gave me a hell of a scare this morning. I come over to have breakfast with my best friend and end up with a medical emergency on my hands. And let me be totally honest with you Peyton, I may have appeared to have been the embodiment of calm but I was dying inside. I was so scared seeing you coming out of the bedroom holding your stomach like that, the look on your face made my heart drop. But I'm telling you now that you're going to be ok, I will personally make sure of that."

Haley didn't want to focus anymore on Peyton being sick. "So you'll never guess who I ran into at the mall the other day, Brooke. She was on her lunch break or something. I'm surprised she even came over to say hello. She was asking questions about you and trying to act like she didn't care about the answers. I don't know if she's still angry with you or if she's just jealous. She was asking about the baby and when you and Lucas had gotten married, stuff like that. I've never been Brooke's biggest fan but maybe you should talk to her when you get better."

"Lucas went down to sit with Emily for a little while. You should see the way his face lights up when he talks about her Peyton. He's a natural at this daddy thing already, granted he hasn't had to change a dirty diaper yet or anything. And I know you were scared before about not knowing if you were going to be a good mom, but I know you'll be great at it."

"Hey I ran into someone else we went to high school with, you remember Michael Buck? He was that awkward-looking kid during senior year who didn't have all that many friends, but he had a serious crush on you. And when he worked up the courage to ask you to the senior sweetheart dance. You were already going with Lucas, but you saw the hope in that kid's eyes and you immediately accepted his invitation. Lucas understood and being the cocky boy that he was he already knew he'd have you for the rest of his life so he didn't mind that you were going to the dance with someone else. Anyway I ran into Michael the other day at the grocery store, he's definitely grown into his face. He's married now and has two kids, and because you are apparently the most popular girl who has ever left Tree Hill he asked how you were. I told him about you and Lucas and that you had a baby on the way, he wished you luck. He also told me that going to the dance with you was his best memory of high school. And it's because of that big heart you had in high school and still do now that I know you will make a great mom." Haley reached out and grabbed onto Peyton's hand and held it tight.

Downstairs, Lucas had resumed his position in the chair next to Emily's incubator. He wanted so badly to be able to lay a hand gently on her back and feel her breathing, he wanted to know she was really his, to know that it was all real. But he was content with just being near her for the time being. The nurses had told him that since he couldn't physically bond with her like most new parents, he'd have to bond with her using his voice. And so he talked about the one thing he loved more than anything, Peyton.

"Your mom and I were, what your Aunt Haley likes to call high-school sweethearts. We were ridiculously happy, more happy than any two teenagers in high school should have been. We had been dating for two years before we went off to college, together of course. Your mom studied art and I studied journalism. Your mom always used to tell me that she never wanted to get married, that it just wasn't her thing. But that didn't stop me from asking her a few dozen times and she turned me down on all of those attempts."

"I don't know what changed but we had dinner one night in our apartment and we were dancing around in the living room acting like kids. It was a good night and Peyton was smiling. I was singing along to some Eric Clapton song on the radio as we were dancing and when it was over I said, "Marry me." And she said finally said yes."

"Your mom wanted to get married someplace small with only a few people at the ceremony. I didn't care either way I just wanted to marry her. We found this little white church near school. My mom and Uncle Keith and Nathan and Haley all came down, we didn't have enough people there to fill an entire pew but those were the people that mattered most to us. You should have seen your mom she looked beautiful. When I first caught a glimpse of her walking down the aisle she took my breath away, and I mean that literally, I couldn't breath when I saw her. Your mom was never one for anything extravagant so her dress was simple, none of that beading or lace that you see on everyone else."

"My hands shook through the entire ceremony. I don't know I was so nervous, because right up until you were born that had been the greatest day of my life. And that was all almost seven years ago. We planned on having kids after a few years of being married but we got a little selfish worrying about our jobs and ourselves, plus we were living in this one bedroom apartment and that was no place for kids. You need a big backyard to play in and your own bedroom, and that was one of the reasons we moved back to Tree Hill when your mom and I found out we were going to have you. When you get older maybe I can teach you how to play basketball like your Uncle Nathan and I did, I'll take you down to the River Court and show you everything the old man knows."

"Mr. Scott?" Lucas was surprised to hear another voice after having spent so much time talking to someone who couldn't talk back. He turned to see the nurse who had been helping him earlier.

"Yes?"

"I'm just letting you know that visiting hours in the NICU are almost over. You have a few minutes left tonight and then tomorrow morning at 9:00 you can come back."

"Ok, thank you." Lucas said looking at his watch, an anniversary gift from Peyton. It was almost 8:00. He hadn't been paying much attention to the time and was surprised by how much time had passed.

He leaned in to whisper goodbye to Emily for the last time that night. "I have to go now Emily, but I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. I'll be waiting outside with my nose pressed against the glass until the nurses let me in. I love you sweetheart."

…


	11. Open Your Eyes

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 11**

The next two days passed slowly for the anxious young father and husband. Lucas had spent most of his time shuttling back and forth between Peyton and Emily. He spent the early mornings with his daughter and when the nurses would come in to take her vitals Lucas would head upstairs with Peyton. He would sit quietly with her, usually holding tightly to her hand. After a few hours passed he would lumber into the waiting room to pick absently at the lunch Haley or Karen would bring from the café. Then it was back to Emily's ward until visiting hours ended.

He usually spent the nights in Peyton's room. The nurses changing shifts late at night would usually find the young man sleeping with his head resting on his wife's bed. They had begun to look the other way when it came to Lucas spending all night with Peyton long after visiting hours had passed. It was the only time Lucas would close his eyes, and even then he never got more than a few restless hours of sleep.

His mom, Haley and Nathan had started to worry about him after he spent the first day at the hospital running back and forth between his wife and daughters room without any sleep or anything to eat. When dark circles formed under his eyes and his clothes took on a rumpled appearance, Nathan decided to play the 'brother knows best' card and gently push Lucas into leaving the hospital for the first time in nearly 20 hours for a shower and a change of clothes.

He was gone for less than hour and sitting back in his usual spot, in the chair next to Peyton's bed when her doctor walked into the room bearing the news that Lucas had been waiting to hear. The doctor told him that Peyton had recovered enough to bring her out of the coma. Lucas was relieved to say the least, the doctor could see the relief in his face and actually gave the young man a small hug. Medication would be given to reverse the effects of the coma and bring her slowly back to consciousness. The doctor warned it would take time, hours, for Peyton to come around but Lucas was prepared to wait.

He had spent a few hours with Emily before going up to be with Peyton, promising himself he would sit with her until she opened her eyes. He settled into his usual chair and tried to read his worn copy of _The Old Man and the Sea_, but after rereading the first page nearly six times he gave up on that way of occupying his time. He tried to watch a college basketball game on the small television in her room but it didn't hold his interest for long. His attempts at waiting patiently were failing miserably.

Lucas spent the next hour pacing the room. It was a nervous habit he'd had as a kid, but it always worked to calm his nerves. He remembered the night of his first real date with Peyton, she was taking awhile to get ready so he paced her living room nervously as he waited. Larry had made a remark about the nervous boy wearing a rut into the hardwood floors and Lucas had taken it seriously and sat down on the sofa. Larry had just laughed and patted the boy on the back. Only two years later Peyton would lose her last bit of family when cancer took her father. Lucas looked over at his wife and wondered how she could stay so strong after so much sadness in her life.

He finally gave up pacing the room and settled back into his chair with his book and tried to read some more.

Less than two pages were turned when he heard what he had been waiting 48 hours for, his wife's voice. It was gravelly and she could barely speak above a whisper but it was the most beautiful sound Lucas could ever remember hearing.

She had mumbled his name with her eyes barely open and he had immediately leaned closer to her and grabbed her hand.

"Peyton I'm right here."

"Where am I?" she whispered while grabbing at the i.v. stuck into her hand. He gently pulled her hand away to keep her from pulling it out.

"You're in the hospital. You had an operation and then you had to rest for awhile, but you're ok now." He brushed his fingers over her cheek. The elation he felt when she opened her eyes for the first time in days nearly overwhelmed him.

"Where's the baby?" she asked, slightly panicked as she felt her now flat stomach.

"The baby is ok. She was very premature but she's being taken very good care of downstairs. As soon as you feel a little better I'll take you down to see her." Lucas couldn't help but smile as he talked about Emily.

"We have a girl." Peyton smiled, her eyes still not all the way opened.

"We have a beautiful baby girl named Emily."

"You named her already?"

"Well I couldn't keep visiting her and not call her by a name and I knew you had talked about liking the name Emily and you should see her Peyton, she looks like an Emily. So I just made it official."

"How long was I asleep for?"

"Almost two days. Do you remember Haley bringing you here because you were having early contractions?"

"Yeah and I remember being taken into surgery. What happened after that?"

"You started bleeding during the operation, it took them a while to get it under control. They had to give you a transfusion to replace all the blood you had lost, and to help you recuperate the doctor put you into a drug-induced coma. That's what you're waking up form now. How do you feel?"

"I feel tired still and little sore." She reached out slowly to grab his hand and pull it close to her chest. She could see that he hadn't slept in a few days and he looked run down and not his usual self. "I'm sorry that you were so worried."

"Don't be sorry for anything, you didn't do this Peyton. I was scared and worried for a few days but that's all okay now because you're awake and you're back with me. Everything's better now that I know you're okay."

"When can I see Emily?" she asked quietly.

"As soon as the doctor say's it alright, and speaking of the doctor I should let him know you're awake." He reached for the button on Peyton's bed that would alert the nurses to come to her room, but she stopped him from pressing it.

"Don't let him know right now, I'm not ready to be poked and prodded just yet. I just want to stay like this for awhile." She said trying to stifle a yawn. He silently agreed to her request and continued to hold her hand as she drifted slowly back into sleep.


	12. Stargazer Lilies and Setting Things Righ...

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 12**

After Peyton had opened her eyes for the first time in two days Lucas not only felt like a giant weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but also that he could leave the hospital to take a shower without feeling guilty for leaving her.

While Lucas was gone for an hour, Nathan and Haley were more than happy to get to spend time with Peyton.

Haley had even come with a sort of survival guide for the rest of the week Peyton would be spending in the hospital. She had packed a bag with magazines, a sketchbook and a stack of CD's. Peyton had gratefully accepted the bag and thanked her always-thoughtful friend.

"So how are you feeling?" Nathan asked setting a small vase of flowers he had picked out himself on the bedside able.

"I didn't think I could be this tired after sleeping for two days straight." Peyton said, sitting up in bed and adjusting her unflattering hospital gown.

"Has the doctor said when you can see Emily?" Haley asked knowing Peyton was anxious to see her daughter.

"He says as soon as I can sit in the wheelchair comfortably, but it's going to be a few days before I can go down there. Lucas is supposed to bring the digital camera and take pictures when he goes down to see her later. I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

"I know Peyt, but it's just going to take time. Besides Lucas won't let any on us see her until you do." Haley smirked.

"Are you serious?" A smile crossed her lips as she pictured her husband forbidding his family from seeing his new baby until her mom could.

"Oh yeah, he won't even let Karen see her yet." Nathan chimed in. "Pictures only, his rules."

Peyton groaned at his stubbornness. "How bad was he while I was out?"

"Put it this way Peyton, I had to force him to leave for twenty minutes just to go home and take a shower. He refused to leave you or Emily. He wouldn't eat and he probably only slept about four hours the entire time. The guy was a nervous wreck." Nathan admitted, Haley shot him a dirty look from across Peyton's bed

"What it's true?" Nathan said quietly under his breath while looking at his shoes. His pager going off suddenly startled him. "It's work." Nathan said after checking the device. "I have to get back to the dealership.

He stood from his chair and leaned over to kiss Peyton on the forehead. "I'm glad you're awake Peyt, you gave us all a scare."

"Thanks for being here Nathan."

Nathan kissed Haley quickly, telling her he'd see her at home later, before leaving the room.

"He wouldn't leave the hospital?" Peyton groaned, flashing back to what Nathan had said about her husband.

"That's my boyfriend, running his mouth off. It wasn't that bad Peyton." Haley tried to convince her.

Peyton just looked at her friend.

"Alright so Nathan was telling the truth. Luke was a nervous wreck the entire time. I've never seen him so scared in my life. But he was just as nervous as anyone else would be in that situation. Plus he had all of us here for him, he was in good hands Peyton."

"Thanks for looking after him Haley."

"Well I've been doing it since we were eight years old." Both girls shared a laugh and failed to hear the light knock on the hospital door. They both heard the next knock and looked to see who was at the door. Both women were surprised to see none other than Brooke Davis standing in the doorway.

"Brooke." The shock in Peyton's voice was evident as she broke the sudden silence of the room.

"I heard you were in the hospital, I just wanted to see how you were doing." Brooke said. She was still standing awkwardly by the door.

Haley stood quickly from her chair. "I'm going to get some coffee, I'll be back later." She leaned over and whispered into Peyton's ear whether she was going to be ok with Brooke and Peyton smiled back her answer.

"Nice seeing you again Brooke." Haley said before slipping out of the door.

"Do you want to sit?" Peyton pointed to an empty chair near her bed.

"Sure." Brooke walked into the room and produced a vase of flowers from behind her back and set them next to the one's Nathan had given her earlier. "I remember when we were kids you used to love Stargazer Lilies."

"Thank you Brooke. How did you know I was here?"

"I went by your house yesterday and found Karen checking your mail. When I asked her where you were she told me you were in the hospital, coming out of a coma nonetheless. She promised to call me when you were awake. And now I'm here. So what happened."

"I started having early labor pain and Haley brought me here to get everything checked out and I went into surgery to deliver the baby and ended up coming out in a coma." Peyton shrugged her shoulders at the craziness.

"Is the baby alright?" Brooke asked with genuine concern.

"She's ok. We had a little girl her name is Emily. I haven't gotten a chance to see her yet, she's downstairs in an incubator."

"I'm sure she'll be alright." Brooke added gently.

Peyton looked at the woman who used to know everything about her and realized she was now almost a stranger. They had grown up together and eventually grown apart together. Brooke wasn't here just to check up on her, Peyton could see that she needed something else.

"Brooke why are you here?"

Peyton's bluntness surprised Brooke who stared back at her with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

"The last time I saw you we had a very unpleasant run-in at the mall and we both said some nasty things and I thought that would be the last time I ever saw you. So I'm just curious as to why you are here now, and please don't think I'm giving you the cold shoulder and I don't want you here. I'm just trying to satisfy my curiosity."

Brooke took a deep breath and stared hard at Peyton. "The last time I ran into you I was in a really bad place. And then I see you and your happy and your pregnant and you're with Lucas, and it just made me realize how unsatisfied I was with my life. I'm 28 years old and I work behind a makeup counter at a department store. I saw you that day and just snapped. I reverted back to my high school self and became this jealous, angry person."

"Are you still angry at me for what happened in high school?" Peyton questioned gently. She didn't want to make any accusations.

"No I'm not. I look at you and see what you have in your life now; a baby, a husband, a house with a front yard and I know I'm not cut out for that life. I don't think I ever want to be a soccer mom and part of a carpool; it's just not me. Not to say that any of that is a bad thing, but could you picture me driving a minivan?" Peyton smiled and shook her head. "I'm not angry with you or Lucas, and I don't think I have been for a long time."

"I just want you to know that I regret hurting you, I really do. You were my best friend and before Lucas came along you were my whole life. But I don't regret what happened between Lucas and I while you were together. I love Lucas and I know this is the way it was supposed to be. That probably sounds selfish Brooke and I don't want it to but I can't imagine my life without him."

Brooke nodded. "I understand Peyton. You two were meant for each other and who was I to stand in the way of the great love story of Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott" Brooke laughed and nudged Peyton in the shoulder.

"I wish we were smarter back then, to not let what happen ruin our friendship. I really missed you that last year of high school."

"I did too. But maybe we can start over and put the past all the way behind us" Brooke looked over at Peyton with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"I'd like that Brooke." Peyton nodded. "And I want you to meet Emily when she's better."

The two women fell into an easy conversation reminiscing about their past and the troubles they had gotten into as young girls. The time passed quickly and Brooke eventually lost track of time.

She looked quickly at her watch and took note of the time. "I have to get going, my boss will freak if I'm late again." She stood from the chair and smoothed the wrinkles from her skirt.

"You could come back later tonight, we could talk some more. Lucas usually stays with Emily a few hours before visiting hours end." Peyton suggested it not knowing if Brooke was ready to jump in feet first with their newly recovered friendship.

"I should be off work early enough tonight, I'd like to come back." Brooke walked towards the door and turned once more before leaving. "I'll see you tonight Peyton."

After Brooke had left, Peyton slunk down into her hospital bed and pulled the blanket up around her tighter. She drifted slowly back to sleep knowing Lucas would be back soon to sit with her while she slept.


	13. Time to Heal

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 13**

It had been nearly two days since Peyton had regained consciousness. She was in good spirits most of the time but Lucas knew what a hard time she was having when it came to being away from the daughter she had yet to meet. While she slept in the morning Lucas had gone down the ward where Emily was and spent some time with her and before leaving he took a few pictures to share with Peyton.

Peyton could feel his presence before she opened her eyes. He didn't notice that she was awake and Peyton couldn't help but smile as she caught him flipping through the _Glamour_ magazine Haley had brought by the night before.

"Find any good articles in there?" she asked startling her husband.

"Oh yeah, did you know pink is the new green?" Lucas joked as he tossed the magazine onto the bedside table.

"I did not know that." Peyton smiled as Lucas leaned forward to kiss her.

"I know you're probably tired of being asked this but how are you feeling?"

"I just can't believe how tired I am still, you'd think that after sleeping for two days straight I'd be ready to get up and go."

"You just have to take your time Peyton, I don't want you to rush things." Peyton nodded stubbornly. "Hey I brought you something." He grabbed the digital camera and showed Peyton the pictures of her daughter.

"She's beautiful." Peyton admired as she scanned the images. "What do all these tubes do?"

"That tube in her stomach is for fluids, that's also how she gets her medication. Her lungs weren't fully developed so she's being given steroids to encourage growth. And the tube in her mouth is to help make breathing easier. The last tube is the one in her hand and that's how she's getting the vitamins she needs since she can't coordinate sucking and swallowing yet." He explained everything as gently as he could but Lucas could see the pain on his wife's face.

"I don't understand what went wrong Lucas. I took all the right precautions, I did everything the doctor told me too. I started taking vitamins the minute I found out I was pregnant, I got regular checkups, I ate the right food and I quit drinking caffeine."

"Peyton don't do this to yourself, the doctor said that no matter what precautions are taken these things still happen."

"That doesn't make seeing my little girl covered in tubes any easier."

"I know." He said softly grabbing hold of her hand.

" I still feel like this is partly my fault. I was stressed the last few months." She confided in him.

"About what?"

"I was worried about not being a good mom. I didn't grow up with one, what if I have no maternal instincts?" Peyton knew the argument was silly, she'd practically helped raise Jenny Jygielski when she was still in high school.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this Peyton?"

"I don't know, I didn't want to worry you too."

"Well I hate to break it to you but I've been worried too, about not having any fatherly instincts I mean. I didn't grow up with a father. I've never really been around babies aside from when Jenny was younger. I don't even know how to change a diaper." He admitted.

"I guess we should have talked about all this before Emily was born." Peyton smiled.

"That probably would have been the best idea. But we'll figure this all out Peyton, I mean there are millions of first time parents who don't have a lot of experience with kids. Plus the nurses aren't going to just send us home without showing us how to do things like changing diapers and making bottles."

"Well actually I know how to change a diaper." She smirked.

"Fine then you'll have to teach me how."

"When are you going to get rid of all that stubble?" Peyton asked deciding that she needed to lighten things up.

"You don't like it?" Lucas rubbed a satisfying hand over the week's worth of beard growth on his normally clean-shaven face.

"I'm not liking the idea of getting a rash on my face every time I kiss you."

"But don't you think it makes me look older." He turned to the side giving her a profile view.

"I don't want you to look older, I like my baby faced husband." Nathan had always given Lucas a brotherly ribbing about the fact that most people believed Nathan was the older brother because he actually looked his own age, while Lucas looked years younger.

"Fine the beard is gone, but maybe I can just shave it into a goatee." Peyton shook her head.

They shared a few more minutes together before Peyton's doctor walked into the room.

"Hello Peyton, Lucas you look like someone finally convinced you to get a good night's sleep." The doctor smiled knowing how much the man's spirits had lifted once his wife was out of the woods.

"I just figured that Peyton was getting enough sleep for the both of us." Lucas said half-joking.

"Well thank goodness she's awake now." The doctor turned his attention to his patient. "How are you feeling today Peyton?"

Peyton wanted to roll her eyes at what had become the routine question for anyone who entered her hospital room. But she figured that as a doctor it was his job to ask those kinds of questions. "I feel fine Dr. Cooper honestly."

"How does the area around you sutures feel? It might still be a little red and swollen."

"They're a little sore but they feel better today than they have the last few days." Peyton assured him truthfully.

"I'll need to take a look at them a little later. I hear you've already been up trying to walk?"

"I was just trying to walk to the bathroom on my own, but Lucas caught me and practically had a heart attack in the doorway."

"I don't want you rushing your recovery Peyton. The most important thing you need right now is time to heal." she ignored the look she was getting from her husband who had issued those same words to her earlier."But if you're feeling well enough to walk a little on your own I think you're more than ready to make the journey downstairs."

Peyton's eyes grew wide at what she thought the doctor was saying. "Are you saying I can go see Emily?"

"I think it would be good for all of you of you got to spend some time together. So when you're ready Lucas can take you down there. But I want you in the wheelchair Peyton, no walking down to the elevator just yet." The doctor was firm in his demands but he was excited for the young mother to finally get to see her daughter.

"I'm ready to go now Dr. Cooper."

"I'll have the nurse bring in a wheelchair." Dr. Cooper exited the room quietly as the two anxious parents began to excitedly chatter about the good news he had just given them.


	14. From a Mother to her Daughter

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 14**

Peyton had become unusually quiet as her husband pushed her wheelchair out of her room and towards the elevator that would take hem down the NICU. A nurse had brought the anxious parents a wheelchair a few minutes after the doctor had given the okay. Lucas had helped her move stiffly into the chair and they were soon on their way down.

Lucas had noticed her quiet demeanor as they left the room. She had been so excited after the doctor had come in, nearly talking his ear off. Now he could barely get her to acknowledge his attempts at small talk.

"Is everything ok?" he leaned down close to her ear and whispered.

"Yeah, everything is fine." She answered quickly. Too quickly.

"You just seem really quiet all of a sudden."

"I guess I'm just a little nervous, but should I be nervous? I feel like I shouldn't be nervous about seeing my daughter."

Lucas stopped pushing her and came to kneel in front of her chair, pulling her close to rest his elbows on her knees. "It's alright to be nervous, you've been waiting for this for a long time. But if you're not ready we can do this a little later when you're feeling up to it."

"No Lucas I'm ready for this." She said firmly.

"You're sure?"

"Of course, nothing is going to stop me from going to see Emily."

"Good."

As she was wheeled out of the elevator and onto the floor that housed the neo-natal intensive care unit, Peyton felt her nerves begin to soothe. The soft pastel zoo animals painted along the walls of the hallway were supposed make the reality of having a sick baby easier to bear for worried parents. No one wanted to leave their child alone in the harsh environment of a sterile white-walled hospital but the pastel colors seemed to ease even the worried mind of Peyton.

They headed to the front desk in the ward and were greeted by a female nurse who seemed familiar with Lucas.

"Lucas, it's good to see you again. This must be your wife, it's good to see you're doing better Mrs. Scott."

"Please call me Peyton."

"Well Peyton, I take it you're here to see Emily."

"Dr. Cooper finally gave me the all clear." Peyton nodded, a grin spread wide across her face.

"Alright well Lucas knows the drill, he can take you back. And Lucas I know you're getting antsy about touching the baby but the neonatologist wants to keep her isolated for a few more days just to be safe. And as soon as she's ready we can start kangaroo care."

"Alright. Thank you for letting me know." He told the nurse before wheeling Peyton towards the NICU entrance.

Peyton turned slightly in her chair to look up at him. "What is kangaroo care?"

"Just a weird way of saying that we can touch the baby. It's important that when she's ready we touch her whenever we're with her. It's another way of bonding." He saw the look Peyton was giving him. "I ask a lot of questions."

After navigating the bulky wheelchair around several other incubators Lucas stopped Peyton in front of one with the words 'Emily Scott' scrawled on a card in thick black marker. Peyton leaned forward as close as she could to the plastic wall, the sight of her baby was enough to take her breath away. Lucas pulled a chair next to Peyton and sat with her.

"She's beautiful." She whispered, her voice beginning to crack.

"Yeah she is."

"I can't believe she's all ours."

"I still can't quite wrap my mind around the fact that I'm a dad. And who would have thought that broody girl I fell in love with in high school would be a mom now."

Peyton continued to watch over her daughter, not wanting to look away even for a second. "What did we do in our life to deserve something this incredible Lucas?"

"I've been asking myself that same question and I just don't know." He looked over at his wife who had never seemed so happy as she was at that moment. "How long did it take you to completely fall in love with her?"

"From the second I looked at her I knew. I have never loved anything as much as I love her. And if it's possible I love you even more for giving her to me, for giving me this family." She leaned over and kissed him, letting her lips lingers on his for a few extra seconds.

"I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and grab a cup of coffee, give you a chance to spend some time alone with Emily." Lucas stood from his chair and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his wife's head.

"I don't know what to do here." Peyton said. Lucas had more experience being alone with Emily, he had a routine with her. Peyton was doing all this for the first time and she felt a little lost.

"You just talk to her Peyton. The nurses say that by talking to her she learns your voice and it's just another way of forming a bond with her."

"What should I talk to her about?"

"Whatever you want."

"Well what did you talk about?" she asked with a prying smile.

"Sorry, father/daughter confidentiality agreement. I can't discuss anything we talked about. You'll do fine Peyton." She wanted to call after him for a few more words of encouragement but he was already on his way out the door.

Peyton turned back to the incubator and looked in at the small sleeping figure. She was amazed at how delicate the tiny being before her was. Pressing her finger to the thick plastic walls she could feel the warmth radiating from the heated box. Her fingers left smudged prints on the otherwise clean surface.

She cleared her throat and decided to just wing it. "Hi Emily, I know this voice might not be familiar yet but I'm your mom. I haven't been around you much but I want you to know that it's not because I didn't want to be here, I was sick and I had to wait until the doctor said it was okay. I wanted to be here with you more than anything, I promise you that."

"I've been looking forward to being a mom since I found out I was pregnant with you, even before that. But you're going to have to bear with me when it comes to me doing all the mom things. I didn't grow up with my mom, your grandma. She passed away when I was younger so I didn't get a lot of her motherly instincts. I barely knew her, I was only eleven when I lost her so I really only knew her as my mom. I didn't actually know a lot about her life. It's the simple things like what her favorite food was or what her favorite song was, those are the things I wish I knew about her. When you're old enough I want you to ask me those types of questions."

"After your grandma passed away I was just me and your grandpa. He didn't know a lot about raising a young girl, he wasn't around a lot when I was growing up. He worked on a barge and he was gone for weeks even months at a time. He loved his job though and I wanted him to be happy again, I realize now that leaving an eleven year old home alone for weeks with only a next door neighbor checking on her was probably not the best way to raise a kid but it's the only way he knew how to do things. I never told him but I was really during those years and I became this angry little girl, and I don't ever want you to feel that way. I don't ever want you to feel alone because your dad and I will always be there for you no matter what. We're always going to be here. That's our job now and the only thing that matters. You will never be alone I promise you."

Peyton felt her chest grow tight as she imagined the day when her young daughter would grow into a woman and leave for college, and even though it was eighteen years away she hardly picture it without feeling a bit of sadness tugging at her heart.


	15. Coming Home

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 15**

After spending two of the longest weeks in her life laid up in an uncomfortable hospital bed, Peyton had finally been allowed to go home. The news had proven to be a little bittersweet because while Peyton would be returning to the comforts of her home she knew that her daughter would be calling the hospital home for another six weeks. Their daughter's doctor had explained the need for Emily to stay in monitored care until Peyton's original due date.

She had known about Emily's extended stay for a few days, and while her heart broke a little at the thought of no longer being a short elevator ride away from her Peyton had been in fairly good spirits during her last week in the hospital. It was during that time that the anxious parents had finally been able to touch the soft skin of their daughter for the first time. Peyton had watched in awe as her husband's breath caught in his throat as he placed a tender hand lightly on Emily's back and felt her breathe.

A voice from across her hospital room brought her out of the memories and focused on her husband.

"You were daydreaming." He smiled as he packed her belongings into a small duffle bag. She had accumulated a large assortment of books and cd's from her family in an effort to keep her from growing restless. The sketchbook Haley had brought by had remained empty, the bland atmosphere of the hospital hadn't provided much inspiration.

"I wasn't daydreaming, just thinking of that beautiful kid of ours upstairs." She stood slowly from her chair, all the time she had spent in bed had made her legs feel a little unsteady.

"She is beautiful." He agreed. "Do we have everything?"

"I think so. We just have to wait for Dr. Cooper."

As of on cue, her doctor strode through the entrance to her room with a cheerful smile. "Peyton I'm sure you're ready to get out of here, but I just have a few things I want to go over with you and Lucas before you leave." He handed over some paperwork. "Most everything you'll need to know about your post-surgery recovery is in that stack of papers. Lucas can help keep an eye on your sutures, they should fully dissolve within the coming weeks. Just watch for any redness or swelling, but it's been two weeks so everything should be healing nicely so just keep the area surrounding your sutures clean."

"I'll help watch for that." Lucas assured the doctor.

"Good. And Peyton I still need you to rest as much as possible. Remember what I said about rushing into things."

"Um, Dr. Cooper, how long until we can go back to normal?" Lucas sheepishly spit out the words. Peyton found amusement in his discomfort talking about their love life and the pink flush across his cheeks.

Peyton wasn't the only one who had found humor in the situation. "No strenuous activity for at least three more weeks." Dr. Cooper replied with a smile. "If you guys don't have any more questions, Peyton you're free to go. There will be one more trip in the wheelchair for you, hospital policy."

After thanking the doctor profusely for all that he had done for them, Peyton settled into the wheelchair to be escorted downstairs. She had already said a difficult goodbye to Emily earlier in the morning in an attempt to make the leaving a little easier. Lucas had left the room minutes earlier and was waiting with the car as Peyton was wheeled through the sliding glass doors of the hospital lobby.

Peyton was surprised by the condition of their home when she walked through the front door for the first time in weeks. Lucas dropped her bags near the kitchen as Peyton settled into the plush easy chair in the living room.

A light layer of dust covered the coffee table in front of her. A large stack of forgotten mail covered one corner of the table. Peyton waded through the pile tossing aside bills and junk mail until she found her weekly copy of _Rolling Stone_. She thumbed through the oversized magazine with minimal interest while Lucas rummaged around in their kitchen cupboards searching for anything that had not exceeded it's expiration.

Peyton didn't realize she had fallen asleep until she woke several hours later in her bed, with Lucas snoring softly next to her, his hand tucked innocently under the bottom hem of her t-shirt.

She pulled in tighter next to him, closing the remaining gap between them. Sleep was coming to her again when she felt Lucas stirring next to her.

"It's cold." He mumbled into the top of her curly hair. He pulled the heavy winter comforter over the top of their shoulders.

"That could be blamed on the fact that it's the middle of January."

"Good point. You didn't sleep very long."

"I think my sleep schedule is a little out of whack. I've only been able to sleep in small spurts. I don't remember coming to bed."

"You passed out on the couch while I was looking for something to eat. You didn't look very comfortable so I carried you back to bed."

"I forgot how comfortable a bed could be."

"So that three inches of mattress you were on for the last two weeks wasn't as comfortable as it looked." He smiled.

"Not at all."

Peyton felt a shiver run up her spine as Lucas trailed his hand across her stomach, his fingers coming to rest on her ribs. "Don't try to get fresh with me." She smiled, not making an attempt to pull his hand away.

"I'm not trying to get fresh. I just missed being this close to you."

"You know what I just realized?" she said sitting up suddenly in bed, pushing aside the heavy covers. "We don't have a crib for Emily."

"Peyton we have plenty of time to get that stuff, she can't come home for six weeks."

"I know that, I just feel like we should have it ready for her. It's bad enough that we had to leave our baby girl at some hospital but I feel guilty that we don't even have a bed ready for her. I just feel like having the crib in the nursery will make things easier to deal with."

"We can go get a crib first thing tomorrow morning." He reassured her gently. "Try to get some rest alright?"

A loud crash woke her violently from her sleep, turning to wake her husband she discovered his side of the bed to be empty. Pulling on a robe, Peyton padded down the hallway in the direction of the noise. She noticed that a light was on in the nursery and decided to sneak a peek at what was going on.

Looking through the small crack in the door she was surprised to see her brother-in-law and husband sitting on the floor in the nursery, pieces of an unassembled crib surrounding them.

"Nathan you're putting that in upside down." Peyton watched as Lucas pulled a piece from his brother's hand and turned it right side up.

"Well I don't know how and the hell a crib is supposed to work, remember I'm the one without a kid." Nathan huffed. "Why is it that you decided to drag me from a night of lounging in front of my television with a cold beer so I could help you pick out a crib and then come over here and try unsuccessfully to assemble baby furniture?"

"Because Nathan when you get married one day you will learn that it is vitally important that you keep your wife happy. Peyton is having a hard time with not being able to bring Emily home, so I'm just trying to make things easier for her. And because I couldn't put this together by myself."

"Hand me those directions." Nathan motioned towards the booklet near Lucas. "We're going to finish this damn thing before midnight rolls around."

Peyton smiled to herself as she watched the stubborn Scott brothers dive back into their work. It was just like Lucas to do whatever it took to make her happy. She snuck quietly back to bed, wondering how she had ever gotten so lucky.


	16. All Together

**Don't Let Go**

**Chapter 16**

It had been the longest six weeks of both their lives. It had become their routine morning and evening ritual to spend time at the hospital, watching their baby girl progressing well as the doctors said. They'd spend the afternoons holed up in their shared office at home, Lucas trying to catch up on his articles and Peyton using her sketching to distract her from the clock, which seemed to tick away slowly teasing her until the time came to leave again for the hospital.

It had been during one of those morning visits, their eyelids still feeling heavy from another sleepless night, when Emily had surprised them awake by opening her eyes for the first time. They had been the standard shade of blue most babies were born with but both Peyton and Lucas had found them to be the most beautiful color of blue they had ever seen.

The first day they had gotten to hold Emily was the best they could ever remember. When the nurse had placed her gently into Peyton's waiting arms Emily stirred quietly and stared back at Peyton, her blue eyes piercing her mother's. And Peyton had been sure she had never seen a smile so wide cross Lucas' face as he held onto his little girl, her tiny frame protected by the strong arms of her father.

Peyton could only describe the feeling that came over her as she watched Lucas carefully latch Emily's car seat into the back of their car, as euphoria. Emily was finally on her way home.

On the twenty minute drive home Peyton couldn't stop turning around to sneak a peek at her sleeping daughter tucked safely into the car seat that she still wasn't big enough to fill out.

"I can't believe she's coming home with us, after all that time it started to feel like this day would never come." Peyton said softly, turning back to face forward in the passengers seat. She rested her hand on his shoulder and ran her fingers over the short, recently trimmed hair above his ear.

"It feels good you know, having our little family home together finally." He grabbed her hand from his shoulder and kissed it.

Making the familiar turn onto their street, Lucas noticed a few familiar cars parked in front of their house. Peyton noticed them seconds after him. "Is that you mom's and Keith's car?"

"Looks like it." He pulled into the driveway and was quickly out of the car unhooking the car seat and carrying Emily inside, Peyton followed steps behind with a diaper bag slung over her shoulder.

They were surprised to see their small family gathered in their living room, a few pink balloons scattered around and a banner welcoming Emily home was taped above the doorway.

"Surprise." Haley offered up with a smile, as the surprised parents made their way inside.

"What's going on Hales?" Peyton dropped the diaper bag near the door and gave Haley a warm hug.

"We just figured Emily deserved a little fanfare for her first day home." Karen walked up and kissed Lucas on the forehead before giving her daughter-in-law a hug. Keith and Nathan also made their presence known.

"Thank you guys so much for this." Lucas smiled. "This is a big day for us and I'm glad you're here to share this with us and Emily."

"I just wish you guys could hold her," Peyton saw Haley's face fall. "Sorry Hales, doctor's orders. She can't be passed around just yet."

"Yeah sure, you just want to keep her all to yourself." Haley joked. "Can we at least fawn over her like she's the most beautiful baby ever."

Peyton smiled as she gently lifted Emily from her seat, supporting the weight of her head like the nurses had shown her and cradled her in her arms. The small group gathered around her.

"She really is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen." Haley cooed. "I want a baby."

"Don't get any ideas Haley." Nathan cautioned. "But she is cute."

"You two did a good thing with little girl." Keith said in only the way he could.

"We're proud of you both." Karen grinned.

After the cooing had subsided, the guys settled into the living room to watch a basketball game. Karen, Haley and Peyton were gathered around the small kitchen table with Emily resting comfortably in her mother's arms.

"I can't believe how natural you look holding her." Haley remarked, peering over the rim of her coffee mug.

"It's only because I made the nurse show me the correct way to hold a newborn a few dozen times before I even held her myself." Peyton peered down at the sleeping figure in her arms. "I was so scared that I wouldn't do something the right way with her, that I was somehow going to break her."

"Believe me Peyton, it's completely natural to doubt your abilities as a parent at times. I did the same thing with Lucas, always wondering if I was doing something wrong with him. But eventually the worry becomes less and the doubt fades." Karen gently reassured her. "You and Lucas are going to do a good job with Emily, I know you will. And for those moments of doubts you know you can always call me."

"And if you ever need a break I am more than willing to baby sit for you guys, and my services are free of course." Haley offered up willingly.

"Thank you both, but I think we've got everything under control for now." Peyton smiled, hoping that she seemed as confident as she was projecting.

Hours later, after their family had filed out of the door leaving behind a few pink balloons and more reminders that they were only minutes away, Peyton and Lucas watched over their sleeping daughter as she lay in her crib.

"She looks even smaller in that big crib." Lucas observed with a grin.

"I almost don't want to be away from her tonight." She said continuing to peer over the side of the crib.

"Peyt, we have the baby monitor plugged in. We'll be able to hear her just fine if she wakes up."

"I know." She responded slowly before a smile lit up her face. "I'll be right back."

She came back into the nursery minutes later with two pillows and a blanket spilling from her arms. "We'll sleep on the floor in here."

Lucas gave her a look. "Just for tonight, I swear." She stared innocently at him.

"Just for tonight." He said, trying and failing to sound stern.

On the floor beneath their daughters crib, wrapped up in a blanket is how they spent the week following Emily's arrival home. While sleeping on the floor for that amount of time hadn't been good for her back, Peyton felt secure knowing that her daughter was only inches away from her.


	17. Help

**The Beautiful Dance**

**Chapter 17**

Peyton had always thought that the talk about all sleepless nights that came with having an infant was just that. Talk. They were exaggerated stories told by exhausted and desperate mothers in an attempt to warn future parents about the reality of child rearing. It didn't take Peyton long to realize that all of the talk was true.

Emily hadn't slept through the night in over a month. Late night feedings and a touch of colic had left Peyton with a noticeable set of dark circles under her eyes. It seemed like a big cosmic joke at her expense that whenever her head would hit the pillow Emily would begin to cry. Lucas had proven to be little help. He could sleep through an earthquake or more appropriately the sound of his infant daughters crying coming in through the baby monitor on his nightstand.

Peyton had been lulled into a false sense of security the first night in a long time that Emily hadn't cried. When she climbed into bed next to her sleeping husband. Sleep had become something that she not only needed, but something that her body craved. So she greedily slipped into a light slumber with the blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders. Then the high-pitched wail of Emily's crying cut through the calm night air.

Sighing softly to herself Peyton remained in bed, hoping in vain for a magical end to the crying. When it became clear that there wasn't an end in sight she looked over at her husband who had no intention of waking up as she watched him roll over onto his side and pulled a pillow over his head. It took a healthy amount of self-restraint to keep her from pushing her oblivious husband off the edge of the bed.

Minutes later Peyton was wearily making her way down the hall towards Emily's room. She could have made the familiar walk blindfolded simply by following the direction of the cries.

Stepping into the dimly lit nursery, Peyton's sour mood quickly diminished as she stepped closer to the crib that held her daughter. Peyton smiled down at her as she was scooped out of her crib and into the strong capable arms of her mom.

The little girl's cries eventually subsided with the gentle movement provided by the old rocking chair set up in the corner of the nursery. Peyton watched with mild amusement as Emily tried to fight off sleep, even at two months old she had that trademark Sawyer stubbornness in her.

Sleep eventually won out and Emily was sound asleep, her tiny fingers gripping the collar of Peyton's shirt. Taking great care not to wake her, Peyton slipped her gently back into her crib. She whispered love and goodnights, knowing that in a few hours she'd be doing the same thing all over again.

At breakfast the next morning Peyton sat quietly at the table, a bowl full of cold cereal in front of her, glaring at her husband.

Lucas must have felt the heat from her stare because he peeked over the edge of his newspaper. He would have attempted a smile but the look on her face made it clear that she was in no mood for his charm.

"What's the matter?" he asked after glancing back down at his paper.

"What is the matter?" she repeated his question with a smirk that never reached her eyes. "The matter, Lucas, is that for the past few weeks I have been running on very little sleep, I'm exhausted and really close to reaching my breaking point."

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" the way he asked the question, completely sincere and unaware angered Peyton even more.

"Are you serious Lucas? You really have no idea as to what could possibly be keeping me awake."

"Is it Emily?"

"No, it's not Emily. Its Emily's uncontrollable crying every single night. I am getting up at least two times a night to rock her back to sleep while you lie in bed completely oblivious to what is going on."

"I'm sorry Peyton, but its not like I'm sleeping through it on purpose." He replied with more edge to his voice than he had intended.

"I don't need you to be sorry Lucas, I need you to help me out because I can't do this on my own." She could feel the sting of tears welling in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Peyton stood from the table and walked silently back to the nursery to ready Emily for the day.

Peyton had spent the rest of the day apart from Lucas knowing that it was best for both of them if she had a chance to cool down. She took Emily to the park and to lunch with her Aunt Haley. Peyton kept her argument with Lucas to herself seeing no reason to involve Haley, only because she knew that Haley would just help solve the situation and Peyton wanted a little more time to sulk.

She climbed into bed that night ignoring the only piece of advice regarding marriage that her father had given her, don't go to bed angry. She wasn't angry so much as exhausted and not willing to get in another, more in-depth argument that would no doubt come with her accusing him of not puling his weight when it came to their daughter.

Lucas lay in bed beside her, his back turned to her. She was tempted to talk to him but instead closed her eyes and tried to sleep. On cue, Emily began to cry from the next room. Before she could do anything Lucas pulled back the blanket and climbed out of the bed.

"I got her Peyton, go back to sleep." The gentleness in his voice made her feel guilty for the way she had been treating him, but she said nothing as he walked out of the room.

Through the tinny reception of the baby monitor she could hear him scooping Emily from the crib and rocking her in the chair his mother had given them. She smiled to herself as she listened to him singing an old Beatles song in an attempt to quiet their daughter. The song worked and the monitor was soon absent of crying, his song the only noise making its way through.

Peyton was soon making her way down the dark hallway. Lucas smiled up at her from his perch in the old chair as Peyton leaned in the doorway of Emily's room.

"She's asleep." He whispered looking down at the sleeping baby in his arms.

Peyton crossed the room and kneeled down on the floor next to him, her head resting on his knee.

"I'm sorry Lucas, for what I said today."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. I wasn't helping you and I needed the wake-up call. It won't be like that anymore. I promise."

She nodded in agreement and they stayed in the nursery for another hour, a silent calm settled over them. And everything was okay.


	18. Learning to Be Grateful

**Don't Let Go**

_Author's Notes: This is the second to the last chapter, the final one will be an epilogue of sorts and I'm really looking forward to writing it._

**Chapter 18**

About three years after Emily was born Peyton woke with an overwhelming feeling of nausea, she knew the feeling immediately. She'd only felt like that once before, she was pregnant.

They had never really talked about having another baby, not seriously anyway. After all the complications that had followed Emily's birth, the doctor had told them that their chances of conceiving again would be slim but not impossible. It appeared that the Scott family had beaten the odds.

She climbed out of the bed and quietly crept into the bathroom where she spent the next several minutes hunched over the porcelain bowl. As she brushed her teeth she heard a gentle knock on the door.

"Peyt, are you okay?" Lucas whispered sleepily through the door.

She told him she was fine with a mouth full of toothpaste, and waited until he shuffled out of the room towards Emily's before she opened the door and sat calmly on the bed. For the first time in a while, Peyton was scared.

The sound of pans clattering together in the kitchen brought her out of her thoughts. She wandered down the hallway that had been filled with family photos. Peyton had always hated the unnatural stiffness of family portraits. She preferred the candid shots like the picture of Emily putting lipstick on her sleeping father or one of Lucas carrying Peyton into the house, a cast visible on her foot after a rainy day mishap. She smiled at the memories and continued towards the kitchen.

As she walked into the kitchen the smiling face of her daughter greeted her. Emily was the spitting image of her parents, with her mother's blonde curls and her father's smile.

"Hi mommy." The young girl smiled.

"Morning angel face." She kissed the top of her daughter's head and sat down next to her at the table.

"Wanna help me color?" Emily held out a bright red crayon from the pile in front of her.

"Sure." Peyton smiled.

Emily had been there miracle baby in more ways than one. Her first few days in the world had been shaky, and after she made a steady recovery the doctors had warned the new parents that many premature babies had a lifetime of health problems. Aside from the occasional cold or ear infection Emily was a perfectly healthy three-year-old. The only lasting effect of her premature entrance into the world was her slightly smaller than most kids her age. Her small stature caused her parents to be slightly more protective of her, but it didn't bother Emily in the least. She had a fiercely charming personality and a gentle soul that made people fall in love with her.

She was daddy's little girl, when she was playing basketball with him in the living room on the small hoop that her Uncle Nathan had given her for Christmas. And she was mommy's little angel when the two girls were holed up in the studio while Peyton worked on a new piece and Emily smeared pastels over a blank canvas.

"Peyton do you want breakfast?" Lucas called from the kitchen while holding up a plate of pancakes.

The thought of food made her stomach turn, so she passed. "I'm not hungry."

"Alright, that just means more for me and Em." Lucas set a plate full of pancakes in front of his daughter, and took the seat next to Peyton.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, but I think I'm going to try and get into the doctor's today just to be sure."

"Well I'll keep an eye on Emily while you're gone. Maybe we'll go to the park, how does that sound kid?"

Emily nodded, her mouth full of pancakes. Peyton smiled at her and wiped syrup from the corner of her mouth.

"Well I'm going to call the doctor, see if I can get in." She excused herself from the table.

Peyton managed to get an appointment a few hours later. On the drive to her doctor's office she found herself mulling over baby names. Her pregnancy had not been confirmed and she was already deciding between Michael and Hunter for a boy.

As she waited in the cramped waiting room she caught herself wondering which room they could turn into a nursery. Emily had an entire room reserved for her never-ending mound of toys. They'd have to find a place to store them. There was a crib up in the attic, it needed to be cleaned up but it would work. She was sure there was a box of baby clothes stored away too.

The more she sat and thought about everything, the clearer it became that they were ready for another baby. Money was no longer an issue, Lucas had worked his way up to editor of the sports section and Peyton was making good money doing freelance work. Emily was old enough to handle a new sibling.

Minutes later Peyton was called back into the office, her blood was drawn and she was left to wait even longer for her doctor to reappear.

"Sorry for that wait Peyton." The doctor appeared suddenly in the doorway and closed the door behind him. "I went ahead and put a rush on your blood work so you wouldn't have to wait over the weekend to hear the results."

"So what are the results?"

"Well for starters, you're not pregnant."

Peyton felt her face fall and an uneasy feeling creep across her stomach.

"But, that's not everything. Peyton, I'm afraid you can't have anymore children."

"What?"

"There were elevated levels of a few things in your blood work that concern me, I want to run a few more tests just to be sure but I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"How did this happen?" she could barely manage more than a whisper, shock clouded her emotions.

"Judging by the difficulty of your last pregnancy, I'd say this was inevitable. Plus you underwent a severe operation and your reproductive organs suffered a great deal of trauma."

The doctor saw the look of utter devastation on the women's face and remembered why there were times when he hated being a doctor.

"I'm so sorry Peyton, I know you weren't expecting this kind of news and I'm sorry that I have to give it to you."

"It's not your fault." She attempted a smile as she wiped a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek.

"Are you going to be alright driving home?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for everything doctor Cooper" she gathered her purse and headed for the door.

"I'm really sorry Peyton." The doctor called after her.

She turned and looked at him, pain evident in her face, and said, "Thank you."

On the drive home Peyton's emotions were in a tailspin. She was angry and sad, disappointed and numb. Mostly she was numb. She'd woken up that morning thinking she was pregnant and then everything had changed.

When she arrived home she'd anticipated a loud welcome with Emily running into her arms, but the house had been strangely quiet. She stepped through the house and caught sight of something that made her heart catch in her throat. Lucas was asleep on the couch with Emily tucked in next to him, cartoons playing softly in the background.

Peyton stopped to relish the sight of the two greatest loves of her life, living and breathing before her. Seeing them together peaceful and happy, she realized how lucky she was. As a girl she had craved a normal life, something different than what she had grown up in. And now she had it, a husband, a steady job, a beautiful daughter and an extended family that meant the world to her. She sat down next to her family on the sofa and kicked off her shoes. She would tell Lucas about their situation when he woke and they'd talk about it and she could cry a little and be sad, but for the time being she would sit and watch over her family and remember all that she had to be grateful for.


	19. Epilogue

**Don't Let Go**

**Epilogue**

_A/N: Thanks to all the readers who have followed this from the beginning all the way back to the first story. I appreciate all the reviews and encouragement_.

* * *

Emily Scott

College Application Essay Stanford University

Who are you: A reflective essay.

There have been many people over the years that have had some sort of influence on my life. There have been writers, musicians, my grandmother, even a politician or two. But no two people have had a greater influence on my life than my parents. I couldn't tell the story of me without them; they are the reason that I am who I am.

My parent's story could fill the pages of a large book. They have a long and memorable history that dates back to their years in high school and has become somewhat legendary in our small town of Tree Hill, North Carolina. He chased her for years and one day she finally stopped running and they've been together ever since. As different as they may have seemed, he was a star basketball player and she was somewhat of a tortured artist, they had more similarities than anyone could have imagined.

My mother Peyton was a girl when her mother, my grandmother, was killed in a traffic accident. Her father raised her by himself and although he loved her he spent much of his time away due to his job. From a very young age my mom had to learn to raise herself. My father Lucas was born to a single mother fresh out of high school, his father had left town for college and while he was away he'd gotten another girl pregnant and chose to raise that baby as his own and pretend my father never existed. This of course had a negative effect on my father, but he never let that stop him. My parents found themselves bonding over their single-parent upbringing.

They went to college together, got married and after graduation they bought a house in Raleigh, North Carolina. They kept their distance from the small town they had grown up in and started a new life somewhere fresh and without the memories of their childhoods. It wasn't until my paternal grandfather became ill and later passed away that my parents returned to Tree Hill and eventually moved back. I was born a few months later.

It's a very surreal experience growing up in the same small town as your parents. I was able to live their history in the most vivid of ways. My dad taught me how to play basketball on the same court where he had grown up playing, I worked behind the counter of my grandmother's café just like both of my parents had as soon as I was tall enough to see over the counters, I even had the same art teacher in high school that my mom had. There were remnants of my parent's history all over the town and I seemed to discover them every time I was out exploring, I still remember the time I found their initials carved into the trunk of a tree on the edge of the high school campus. When I asked my mom about it, she just smiled and got lost in her memories.

I grew up as an only child and although my parents never said different, I know that they would have liked to have more children. I was born premature and my mother nearly died on the operating table during her caesarean section, she found out a few years after I was born that having more kids wasn't possible. If it ever really bothered her she did an amazing job of hiding it. They considered adoption when I was older but it never happened, even though I still believe any kid would have been lucky to have them as parents. I sometimes took that fact for granted, but I've learned my lesson since.

My best friend growing up was my cousin Sydney. Our fathers are half-brothers and our mothers have been friends since high school. Syd is a year younger than me but we've been inseparable since we were babies. She's an amazing person with the biggest heart. As kids she used to drag me down to the animal shelter on the weekends before the sun came up and volunteer us to walk the stray dogs for the entire day. I have learned so much from her and my aunt and uncle. We spent so much time together that I look at my Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan as a second set of parents.

I had a very traditional upbringing thanks in large part to the fact that my parents matured into what I considered, very normal adults. My parents worked extra hard to give me the childhoods they were never able to have. I spent so much time with my parents when I was young that they were practically my closest friends. Before I started elementary school I spent my afternoons with my mom where we could be found sprawled out on the carpet of our living room listening to the stacks of old vinyl she had acquired over the years, or in my dad's office

I fell in love with music because of my mom. To her, music isn't something you listen to; it's something you feel. She's always said that a great song is something you can still feel deep in your soul years after you've heard it. I still remember the first time she played "Like a Rolling Stone", not many five year olds list Bob Dylan as their favorite musician but I couldn't get enough of his music. The first concert I ever attended was a Fleetwood Mac reunion tour gig when I was eleven years old with my mom right beside me singing "Rhiannon" at the top of her lungs

People usually give me strange looks when I tell them that my mom is an artist. They must picture a female version of Jackson Pollack, an insane woman hunched over a canvas splashing buckets of paint all over who doesn't have the tightest grasp on reality. She's anything but. My mom started out as a freelance artist, doing small jobs here and there. She even designed cd covers for a few of the local bands here. It wasn't until she started doing small art shows and displaying her paintings that people started taking notice, important people. Her work has become popular over the years, Dakota Fanning may have bought her latest piece for a nice sum of money but I'm still her biggest fan.

I fell in love with a different type of art. I've come to discover that photography is a passion of mine. For the last three years I've had a camera at my side, snapping pictures of everything and anything. There is something amazing about capturing a single moment with the flash of a shutter. My bedroom walls are covered in black and white snapshots taken from around town of people I know and many whom I don't. I look at photography, as a way of telling a story, behind every shot no matter the subject there is an amazing and undiscovered narrative. The best picture is one that has an impact and inspires, at least that's what my mom tells me and it's something that I keep with me when I'm taking shots.

My dad could be considered an artist of sorts but he uses a completely different medium, words. He's a writer at heart that still has dreams of writing the next great American novel. But in between writing chapters of his book, he earns his living as the sports editor of The Carolina Chronicle, which has the largest circulation in the state. He loves his job as it gives him a chance to work from home and spend more time with all of us.

The way my mom and I have bonded over our love of music is the same way my dad and I are about books. When I was very young it was my dad's nighttime ritual to tuck me into bed and read a Dr. Seuss book to me, he also had a habit of reading a chapter of whatever he was reading at the moment to me. His favorite was always The Old Man and the Sea. It's safe to say that I knew more about the theme of personal courage in the face of defeat than the average five-year-old. As I grew older my dad and I would talk books over dinner and critique the increasingly annoying trend of making books into lackluster movies that would never be as good as the original medium. It was a Sunday morning ritual for us to spend an hour browsing the dusty aisles of a used bookstore near our house, while my mom slept in late. We keep our ever-expanding collection in my dad's study, bookshelves tall enough to reach the ceiling are crammed full of paperbacks and hardcovers.

For me books have always been an escape from my reality. If something was happening at school or at home I knew that I could forget about it, at least for a while, by burying my nose deep into the crisp pages of a book. Whether it was John Steinbeck or David Sedaris, I could get lost for hours while reading. As a kid my father used to have to hide the flashlights so I couldn't use them to read under my blanket long after I had been tucked in for the night. My dad use to use books as a way of indirectly talking to me about certain issues that he wasn't all that familiar with, I still have the book he bought me regarding puberty and the young woman. I also have the book he bought me to answer my questions about cancer.

If books helped me escape from reality, music was my way of avoiding it all together. When I was fifteen years old my mother was diagnosed with cancer, leukemia more specifically. To this day it remains one of the darkest periods in my families life and mine. Facing your mother's mortality forces you to grow up much sooner than you'd like. I didn't handle the news well at first, my initial reaction was anger and I would spend all of my time at school or locked in my room with headphones tucked into my ears blasting loud enough to block out noise. It was unfair of me, but at that moment I wasn't ready to accept the fact that my mother could die. I spent a week avoiding the news and my family when I came home one day and found a book on my bed. It was a thin paperback written for patients and their families, I read the entire book cover to cover that night. The next morning I got over my own selfish fears and accompanied my mom to the hospital where she spent the next seven nights receiving her first round of chemotherapy.

After months spent holding back my mother's hair as she vomited from the constant rounds of chemo, reading endless volumes of text on cancer research and most likely annoying her doctors by asking them an enormous amount of questions I came to the sudden realization at the age of sixteen that I wanted to become a doctor. It's a goal that both of my parents have gladly supported even though they have had a hard time accepting the fact that their only daughter could potentially be moving across the country in order to pursue this dream, but I think they've realized how serious about this I am when pennants and posters for Stanford began to fill in the gaps between band posters.

I know a lot of kids who are going to college out of state so they can get away from their parents and enjoy their newfound freedom, but for me that's not the case. My greatest fear of going off to college three thousand miles away is that I will spend all of my time missing home and my family. I've lived in Tree Hill all of my life and growing up I couldn't imagine living anywhere else but I've come to realize that it's important to experience new things and to live your life to the fullest, no matter how clichéd that may sound.

So who am I? I'm just a girl who loves Johnny Cash and John Steinbeck, a girl who is both incredibly excited and completely terrified for her college acceptance letters to arrive in the mail, a girl who isn't ashamed to love her parents, a girl who wants to follow her dreams and make a difference. This is me.


End file.
